Yo. Dec 28, 2011


I'm in Deutschland now!!!!!!!!!! And guess what. It's cold here. Ha.


So here's a play by play of my travels:
We flew to Minnesota and then to Amsterdam and then to Berlin. In case you were wondering, having a cold and being in an airplane is like the WORST experience ever. I still can't hear because my ears are all messed up. But the flights weren't so bad and I'm glad to be done with that.


We were greeted by our Mission President and his wife at the airport. I decided I really like being greeted in English, particularly when I don't speak the language of the country. They took us to a church building, had us pack a small bag for a couple days, and we left our luggage there. Then we went to the mission office and did some paperwork. Did you know I'm a licensed minister now? I can marry people! So if you want to get married, come to Germany and I will do it.


Anyway, we chilled there for awhile then we went to our hotel and ate dinner. Eating German food is exhausting. You're expected to eat SO MUCH FOOD and I can't do it. I'm going to die here. Then we went to bed at 7pm. You better believe it.


So we're doing things a little differently because we're waiting on some missionaries coming from the MTC in England (they're native German speakers from Austria and Switzerland) so we're chilling with the Mission President today and we won't go to our areas until tomorrow. Pray that I get a native German or Austrian or Swiss trainer!!!


Alright, I'll email again on Monday. I love you. I pray for all of you. And I hope your Christmas was amazing!!!


Ich liebe y'all.


Love,
Sister Young

December 19, 2011

Listen people. I leave in a WEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!! Oh my heavens I am so READY to leave. I've been here for ages.


Feminist story of the week: Every Tuesday we have a devotional here where prominent church leaders come to talk. They usually bring their wife, who speaks for about 10 minutes, and then the dude will talk for like 45 minutes. Sometimes it totally sucks because the wife is waaaaaay better than her husband. Anyway, so I was complaining about this to my district and I told them I was going to pray for a woman to come who would talk longer than her husband. You better believe God answered my prayers because the very next week Elaine Dalton came and gave the most incredible devotional EVER and her husband who preceded her only talked for 10 minutes. God loves me.


I totally forgot to mentiont this before, but my wonderful companion's mother sent me a lanyard a little while ago that I put my key and stuff on. It reads "BREASTFEEDING TOUCHES EVERYONE." It's the greatest gift I've ever received.


Also I aruged with an Elder in my district about slavery. Why would that even be a discussion, you ask? Because this particular Elder doesn't believe it's wrong. Don't ask me how we got on the subject, I don't even know. But I can promise you that I spoke my peace and now I try to avoid him at all costs. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO IGNORANT?! a;sdlkfja;lsdkjg;lakjdfgl;jkasdklfj


I will tell you all a bad secret. It's called: I can't stop dreaming about watching my favorite movies. I've had several dreams where I'm in the middle of "Hook" or I'm just watching the movie "Ever After." It's insane. That's all I'm going to do when I get back. Also can everyone commit right now to watching "Midnight in Paris" this week? Do it for me. I miss that movie so much.


This week I have to say goodbye to everyone and a part of me is going to die inside. But I am so FREAKING excited for Germany!!!! I hope you all still write me, even though it's a little more expensive. Also please pray that I get a native-German speaking companion when I get out there. Please.


Well, I'm sorry this is so short. I'm really tired and I'm sick today. But I love you all and just remember - the next time you hear from me I'll be in DEUTSCHLAND!!!!


Love,
Sister Young

December 12, 2011


What is up my peoples?!?!?!


I know, I miss you too. Also I have many things to tell you. Because I know you absolutely love lists, here's one for you:


CRAZIEST WEEK EVER

1. There is a missionary here named "Elder Fickin." It means the f-word in German. You have no idea how hilarious that is for us Deutschers. Oh how I wish he was coming to Germany!

2. Can I just tell you how amazing all my friends are? Because they're the best. Friends in the real world, friends here in the MTC...I am SO freaking blessed.

3. There is an Elder here who will NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE. Help?!?!?

4. I had this interview with this really sexist old man and it went something like this -


Old man: Why aren't you married? You're pretty enough.
Me: Oh I don't know, maybe it has something to do with the fact that LOOKS AREN'T THE ONLY THING THAT FACTOR INTO MARRIAGE/ I DON'T TO BE MARRIED/ I AM ON A MISSION WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS?!?!?!?!


Later....

Old man: Well obviously your feministic views are prohibiting you from having a normal relationship with men.
*pause*
Old man: How do you feel right now?
Me: Well, I feel that you have no idea who I am and therefore are making judgements against me that are unfounded. You have preconceived notions of who I am because I'm a "feminist" and that's driving your perception of me.
Old man: That's probably true.


You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not. That's really how it went down. And I really did say those things back to him, but that shouldn't really suprise you.


5. So the music lady here found me and made me promise to come back into auditions and sing "O, Holy Night." Can you believe it?!?!? After my traffic accident of performance last time, she's insisting that I sing for Christmas. Ridiculous. But yes, I'm doing it. No idea why.

6. Ok. So we have something called the TRC and I'm pretty sure I already told you about this. Anyway, so one of the volunteers who comes in is a student at BYU and she's from Germany. We have had her EVERY SINGLE WEEK (which is unusual because we usually switch up the people we teach every week). Oh, and did I mention that she's not a mormon in real life? Way to add the pressure. Anyway, so we've actually grown pretty close to her these past few months and this week she made us earrings! How cool is that??! Also she wrote on her comment card that she'd like to start coming to church and read the Book of Mormon. Aaaaaaah. I'm going to miss her so much :(

7. Did you people know that 1 in 5 old mormon men served in Germany? I swear it's true.

8. Teaching here is one of the most frustrating and rewarding things I have ever done. Most days we can't speak German the way we want and our investigator is not understanding and it's a big mess. But every once in a while you'll have an AMAZING lesson where your German still wasn't perfect but the Spirit is totally there and your investigator is opening up and telling you everything you wanted to hear and more and it's just awesome. Just so you know.


Well my peeps, the church is true. I love you a whole lot.


ALSO! I know you all want to send me Christmas packages of love, but you should know that they need to get to me BEFORE Dec. 23rd. K thanks.


I love you!

Sister Young

December 5, 2011

I am down to 3 WEEKS!!!!!!! DREI WOCHES!!!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord.

So. New things this week....nicht. Just kidding. I made some new friends and we are pretty much bffs. There's a group of missionaries going to Norway and their classroom is kind of by ours and for some reason I started talking to them one day and now we are so tight. There's a solo sister (meaning she doesn't have a companion) in there who might be my friendship soulmate, just saying. And there is a dude from Iceland! Dream come true! Meeting someone from an obscure country, that is. He is WEIRD. That's probably why we are all best friends. So it's pretty nice to have a change from the ordinary.

One of our roommates that was supposed to leave last week had to get surgery last minute! I feel so so bad. It's been really hard on her, so please keep Sister Westover in your prayers. So now there's 3 of us in our room, but we're getting some new Deutschers this week, and I'm pretty sure 3 of the sisters are moving into our room. Woof. I hope they're cool or I will die.

German. I haven't talked about my progess in the language for awhile, probably because it depresses me. BUT I'm doing...ok. I hate learning it from returned missionaries. I don't trust their grammar and I don't trust their accents. SO I've started to rewrite my entire grammar book on 3x5 cards. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I'm on page 50 in my grammar textbook and I'm loving it. For some reason I find great joy in doing this activity. Also we've started to speak German 24/7 around here, so hopefully that helps. I'm pretty sure we all sound like cavemen. But we get our point across, and that's what's important right now.

Also, I'm going to officially inform the world that I have a new nickname here, and I can't disclose it because you'll have to write me for it. But basically everyone here teases me because all the black guys here love me. Like, they seek me out of a crowded room to come talk to me. One of them said he wanted to marry me (don't worry, I told him that he was super creepy and to leave me alone). I don't know what it is. Actually, I do. But you'll have to write me to find out.

The funny thing about weird 19 year old boys that are all of the sudden thrown into a world where they have to think about Jesus 24/7 and never touch a girl is that they start to find EVERY sister here at least a little attractive. But then they feed that in their mind and all of the sudden you're the hottest thing on the face of the planet and they all want to sit by you at lunch. THEN they realize that they shouldn't be talking to you and they get SUPER weird and say STUPID things. And then you tell them to go away and they run with their little tails inbetween their legs. THIS PLACE IS WEIRD.

Thank you for all your letters!!!!! They keep me sane. Also, the closer it gets to Christmas the more depressed I become because I can't be with my family. And Christmas is the best time of the year at the Young house! But I will be in Germany so soon and THEN I can rejoice.

I love you all my little kinders.

Sister Young

November 29, 2011

Hello friends and family!

I am still alive, believe it or not. Also I only have 4 weeks left!!!!!! I know that seems like forever, and it is, but the weeks tend to fly by really fast around here. The days feel excruciatingly long though. Death.

So. Everyone keeps asking me if I've seen any cool famous Mormons, and I got double dose of Apostle love last week for Thanksgiving. Elder Christofferson AND Elder Nelson came last week. For my nonmormon lovely friends, those are two Apostles of the Lord. Yes, just like Peter or James or John. Not even kidding. Anywho, they gave amazing talks and I will only share what they said if you write me a letter.

Thanksgiving was the best day ever because I DIDN'T HAVE CLASS FOR ONCE. Also I got to sleep in a little bit. Also the food was gross, but I was sustained by the delicious treats my Grandparents and my parents sent! Thanks!!! Anyway, all in all it was pretty great. I had a lot of fun and experienced a lot of spiritual upliftment. Oh, and they let us watch "17 Miracles" before going to bed. Have you ever seen it? It's pretty cheesy, but oh well. It was a movie and we were dying.

Today the 4 other girls that my companion and I live with are leaving for their missions in the Phillipines. I'm going to be in the worst mood ever, I can already tell. They are so so so great and the best people to come home to every night. Poo! BUT they will be amazing missionaries and I am so excited for them.

Also I wore bright hot pink tights the other day and didn't even have anyone tell me not to, so HA! Now I'm the coolest kid on the block. Fo sho.

Ok so we had to practice "tracking" last week during class and so we'd knock on doors in our building and the teachers would pretend to be different people and we'd try to give them a short message and set up an appointment for another time. It was probably one of the more hilarious things I've ever done here. I met a Jehovah's Witness (who was actually pretty nice), a creeper who kept all the lights off in the room and only opened the door a crack, someone who was convinced that we were a cult and wouldn't stop shouting it, and FINALLY someone who was reluctant to let us in but did because we're AWESOME. Also he had some pretty tough questions but we promised we'd answer all of them. I love saying with confidence that we have all the answers to your questions. Because we DO.

Well my lovelies, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I hope you have a fabulous week. Also, I sent out like 10 letters a little while ago and I've only heard back from 2 people. Can you at least send me a little "dear elder" telling me you got it? Because I'm worried. K thanks.

WRITE ME PEOPLE.

Love,

Sister Young

November 21, 2011

I am officially half way through the MTC!! Kind of. This is the start of my 5th week so I still have forever. But I'm almost there.

So. Guess what!!!! Another boring week. Sorry. I wish I had a lot of cool things to say, but I don't. Being a missionary in Provo is the most boring thing EVER. Just so you know.

Well half of our branch was shipped out to Germany this week, so now we're down to like...19 missionaries. And guess what!! We have more Sister missionaries than Elders right now. Obviously Germany prefers us. Duh.

So both of our "investigators" now have a baptism date. Oh yes, we're awesome. I know. And of course this is real life, so that means I'll have the same success over in Europe. Ha.

Also. Worst news ever. So I don't remember if I mentioned this before, but this Elder ended up finding me through like 5 people here and asked me to sing a song he wrote for one of the devotionals we have here. So for some STUPID reason I said yes and we auditioned and everything was great. So then yesterday I go to perform it and I lose my voice. Literally. It was gravely and low and weird. So I had to sing this song in front of a bunch of people and it was the worst thing ever. I cried for an HOUR after and wanted to die. My branch president's wife was the only person who managed to comfort me. So she spread around to everyone she could not to say ANYTHING about it to me because everytime someone did I started crying. Like when a girl in the cafeteria came up to me and said, "I study voice, so I know where you messed up. But I want you to know that everything else was amazing!" Maybe I punched her. A little bit. Jokes. But I thought about it. Obviously the MTC makes me ridiculously emotional. It's terrifying how easily I burst into fits of anger or just start crying without being prompted. I'm annoying myself, trust me. I'll work on this so this NEVER happens when I get back. I'll be [somewhat] normal, I promise!!

Best news of the week? A fellow Sister missionary in my district made me the happiest person alive. She ran up to me yesterday and said, "Sister Young! I have an inappropriate joke. I thought you'd appreciate it." Basically my life was made. And just for the record, it wasn't even bad. She's a missionary. Our sense of what "inappropriate" is has been dramatically warped. We think of ourselves as inappropriate when we sneak dance parties in the hallway or sit on the floor. I'm not even joking. But don't worry, we do it anyway.

So, lovely people. Keep writing me. PLEASE. Even if it's to say "poop" or to tell me how awesome you think I am. K thanks.

Danke my darlings. Love you.

Sister Young

Hellllllllllo.

So. MTC. I feel like I just keep repeating myself over and over and over. Oh well.

I forgot to tell everyone about this, but Elaine S. Dalton, president of the Young Women's program, came to speak here at Relief Society and it was AMAZING. That's really the only person you'd know that's come so far. I'll keep you posted.

So we have 2 new investigators named Eddy and Michael. Eddy is from Ghana and he freaking LOVES Jesus. More than anyone I know, I'm pretty sure. He's doing well except he keeps praying to Jesus and we're having a hard time trying to convince him that we need to pray to God haha. Michael is the most apathetic investigator EVER and I have no idea what to do with him. He never has any questions and never shows any emotion. Pray for us.

Also. You must know that the number 11 in German is "elf," so of course it would only be natural that all the German speakers got together here on 11/11/11 at 11:11 and had an Elf day party. The sisters tried to dress like elves, but the closest we got was wearing "woodsy" colors because we were forest elves, of course. I'm pretty sure my sense of humor as a missionary is ridiculous. I hope I'm normal when I get back.

Thursday was our first day at the TRC where we talk to real Germans and just practice getting to know them. The TRC used to be the place where we taught investigators, but now it's just for "member lessons." Anyway, so it was incredibly terrifying but the guys in our room were so so so nice. One of them said to me right after we had introduced ourselves said, "So you speak french?" Hahaha I laughed so hard and then was really embarrassed about my heavy french accent. But he said I speak really really well and he would never have guessed I had only been here 3 weeks! So yay. Also, if you speak German (Heidi and Andrew) it's on Tuesday at 3pm and 4pm. I don't know which time I'm at so stay for the 2 hours if I'm at 4pm. Please please please.

I don't know if I've already said this, but we have an incredibly conservative elder here that I LOVE to tease. Anyway, so I hadn't gotten on his nerves in a while so I decided to draw the Tree of Life vision from Lehi's dream (if you don't know what this is, ask the nearest mormon) and I drew the "great and spacious building" as corporate America. Needless to say, the elder just about ripped my head off. It was so great.

Also SOMEONE is spreading a rumor that I can sing and now 2 elders are trying to find me so I can sing with them!!!! What the heck?!?!?! So now I have to audition with one of them on Thursday and I'M GOING TO DIE. Poo.

One last thing. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for the letters!!!! I feel so special everyday. And also because I've gotten quite a few you'll have to give me a little time to write you back. But many many people are receiving letters this week. Ok? Ok good.

I love you all my little teddy bears. Have a lovely week!!

Sister Young

November 7, 2011

HEYYYYYYYYY.

So I miss all your guts. Just so you know. Also I'm really happy about everyone's effort to send me mail. Please don't burn out by the time I leave. This has to last for 18 months. OK?!?!?! Also, a lot of letters are in the mail for people who wrote me. So if you want one, WRITE ME.

Ok. Bragging time. Remember how I was telling you that we teach an "investigator?" Well, ours got baptized. We were the only ones to commit him!!!! Ha. So now we have 2 new investigators, and we'll have 2 more next week. Yikes. I can barely teach. We literally read everything word for word out of our german Preach My Gospel. It's pretty bad haha.

Funny story. So our first investigator actually ended up become our teacher at the end of our second week. Weird, right?!?! Anyway, he basically loves me and Sister Dean because we're so awesome at committing everyone to everthing, but then I ruined it and I think he hates me. We were doing role playing the other day so we could practice our door approaches and the introduction to our message and I was paired up with Sister Marquardt. This is our lovely conversation:

Me (as missionary, after she let me in and we're talking about life): So Helga (yes, she decided to go by that), how are you doing today?

Helga: Terrible. My cat just died and I'm really distraught.

Me: (whilst laughing) Oh I'm sorry! What was your cat's name?

Helga: Shelly.

So I suggested we say a prayer and I asked the Lord to bless her cat. DUH. But Helga totally lost it and we both started cracking up and our teacher came in and was like "Excuse me?? Where's the spirit?! I don't think this is appropriate." I explained to him that I really cared about her and her cat and the best way to show that is to pray for them. But I think he still hates me for praying for Helga's cat Shelly so now I'm in big trouble. And it's all Helga's fault.

I just want everyone to know that I'm losing weight and I am sooooooo proud of myself because everyone else is getting super fat hahaha. WIN. I only eat salads though. It helps.

I have hilarious pictures to give everyone, so if you want one write me. NOW.

Also, I have several letters waiting to be sent but I want to give you a picture so please be patient.

I love you all my darlings. Don't forget about me!!!!!

-Message from Lesa's sibling- P.S. Lesa's First message was unavailable to post, sorry for the inconvenience.

Lesson #70

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) I'm gone. Forever. Jokes.

So I'm technically a missionary now so I'm not supposed to be on here. Oops. But you need my info!!!!!!!

Ok. I will be at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah for about 9 weeks. This means that any letters or packages you want to send before the end of December should be sent to this address. There are 2 ways of communicating with me here:

#1. Dearelder.com

If you visit that website you can write me a letter that will be printed off right there at the MTC and given to me that same day. So write me random crap so I will have something to look forward to every single day. Gut.

#2. My mailbox.

This is my official address:

Sister Lesa Young

MTC Mailbox # 350

GER-BER 1227

2005 N 900 E

Provo, UT 84604-1793

Send me packages and I will love you.

_____________________________________

NOW. If you'd like to communicate with me after Christmas, I will be in Germany. You can reach me two ways.

#1. Write me an email!!

lesa.young@myldsmail.net

#2. Send me a letter. And a package. This is my new address:

Sister Lesa Young

Germany Berlin Mission

Zerbster Strasse 42

12209 Berlin

Germany

All this information will be posted on the side in my "about me" section under my picture. Also, my weekly emails to my family will be posted and updated every week on this site. So read this every Monday!!! It's my special treat to you.

I love you. I'm going to miss you. Please don't have any life changing events while I'm gone.

Auf Wiedersehen.

-Sister Young

ps. Under the "My Lovers" section on this page you can select "join this site" and it can send you an email every time my blog is updated, in case you're interested.

Lesson #69

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Love Your Body Day.

So. Today is "Love Your Body Day," according to NOW [National Organization for Women] Foundation. As a bored feminist, I will of course write a blog post about loving my body. Because I do.

You might remember this post I wrote a while back that basically encompasses everything that this day stands for. Twas great. However, I'm going to take a different approach today. And yes, my favorite blog did give me this idea that I am a little bit copying.

Instead of talking about how the media is a terrible influence on women and girls, or how we should learn to love how we look, I kinda want to talk about how freaking amazing our actual bodies are. Seriously though, they're amazing. So I will share with you things I enjoy that my body does for me.

My favorite things about my body...GO:

#1. I can grow a person in my belly.

Just think about it. Isn't that amazing? Even more amazing is the fact that my body can squeeze that tiny person through a space that reeeeeaaally can't fit a head right now. Promise.

#2. Pain.

I don't know if you've really thought about it like this, but pain is your body's defensive mechanism. It lets you know when something isn't going alright so you can catch the problem early. If you break your arm, the pain restricts you from moving your arm too much because your body knows that you need to keep it still. Without pain we would all be dead I think. At least I would.

#3. Eyes, ears, mouth, and nose.

All those things provide my senses, and I thank God everyday that I have all my senses. I can watch beautiful films, I can listen to moving music, I can taste delicious [french] food, and I can smell autumn.

There are a million and one things I love about my body, and a couple things I tell myself I could live without. But seriously, what a gift. We are so lucky.

Plus, I can ride a bike! In France no less.

I'm sorry for the lame picture. It's the only picture I have of me moving. Sad, I know.

This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival

Lesson #68

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) EMOTIONS.

Ok. This post is dedicated to my brother because he HATES my blog, especially when I write about politics. But poo on him because a.) he reads my blog anyway and b.) I love pissing him off.

Lots of crap has been blowing up my phone phone [not a typo, if you don't understand GET WITH IT] with political and social chaos lately. It's ridiculous. And IT'S MAKING ME GRUMPY.

I love lists. Let's start.

#1. Apparently Mormonism is a cult. Mormons aren't "christian" either.

I would first like to say that I DO NOT ENDORSE MITT ROMNEY IN ANY WAY. However, all this crap about Mormons is ridiculous. I shouldn't even have to defend my church in this case because a.) I reeeeaaaaally don't believe somebody's religion should play any part in this and b.) the guy creating all the fuss is a close-minded IDIOT. So move on, peeps. There's nothing to see.

#2. Occupy Wall Street is pretty darn big now and I think people are jealous they're not involved in all the action.

I've heard a lot of criticism of the movement, but I, for one, am fully behind the idea they're trying to get across to the public. Does that surprise you? Of course it doesn't. But since a lot of weenie whiners out there are "confused at their objective," let me show you a cool graph. I know you love plain and simple pictures!

Put simply, the top 2% is like 50 bajillion times bigger than the bottom 98%. Don't quote me on that. But THIS is what we're concerned about. They don't pay enough taxes. They control Congress. They are creating a social class crisis. Do you get it? Yes? GOOD.

Also, I'm going to throw this in for fun because I LIKE IT. And she is my hero.

Woot.

#3. Women, War, and Peace.

I wrote a paper on this earlier this year. I find it to be one of the most important topics that should be on the table today. So when I found out that PBS was doing a series on it, I almost peed my pants with excitement.

Women, War & Peace from Women, War & Peace on Vimeo.

I just love PBS so much. Sooooo much.

Goodnight my fools.

Lesson #67

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Shut your face.

Listen people.

I don't want to talk about Germany.

I don't want to think about my mission.

I don't want you to tell me to stop freaking out. I will puke all over your shoes if you do.

I'm just pretending it's not real for the time being. And no, I don't care what you have to say about that.

Just be quiet.

Mmk thanks.

Lesson #66

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Regrets.

WARNING: I am about to get super sentimental. If you hate feelings, leave now.

Before I get into the thick of it, you must listen to this song whilst reading:

Ok, folks. I can't help but review all my life when I listen to this song. I love it so much. BUT I guess I really start thinking about all the things I wish I did differently. I used to tell myself that I never regret anything because it got me to where I am today. To a point, that's very true. But really it's important to regret things. How else could we make right all our wrongs?

Aaaaaanyway, I've narrowed it to my top 3 regrets that for some stupid reason I'm going to share with all the blogging world. Stupid.

#1. I regret not pursuing music.

I miss performing more than anything on this planet. That sounds ridiculous to all the people who know that I get sooooo nervous even to sing to someone in my living room. But once you push me on that stage and get me started, I never want to stop. Music is my heart and soul. And I don't think that I will ever stop dreaming of singing on a real Broadway stage. Or in a jazz club. But that will NEVER happen. I'm too chicken.

#2. Getting good grades.

Ok, I'm not a complete failure in this area, but I have limited myself. Not that I would ever go to grad school, but if I did I probably couldn't make it into any of the universities I really like. I don't regret, however, all the AMAZING things I accomplished during my time in college. Woot woot for all the random road trips and late night snaking and ridiculousness that [sober] college consists of.

#3. Not being a better friend.

I don't try as hard as my friends deserve. The worst thing is that I know it. Gah I'm such a bad person. I wish I was a better listener. I wish I was more grateful. I wish I was nicer and more understanding and just better.

Ok now I'm just annoying myself. This is what happens when you're about to "leave" life for 18 months - you just act like you're about to die. Which is pretty much true.

You know what I'll never regret? Saving and spending all my money to go to France...

...and some other stuff.

Lesson #65

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) The missing women.

The World Bank has officially released the 2012 World Development Report on Gender Equality and Development. These reports on gender equality that are produced by the World Bank or the United Nations and other similar organizations are a relatively new thing, as the phenomenon of women being treated as dirt has been barely realized in past decades as a serious matter that, if improved, could actually decrease poverty. Imagine that!

Looking through the report's fancy charts and graphs, I noticed that they've furthered research on the missing women theory. In fact, they have found that "nearly 4 million women go missing each year in developing countries." Firstly, you should understand that by "missing" they don't mean someone kidnapped them or they just up and left to live in the jungle. It means that 4 million women die each year to causes that should have been prevented.

Amartya Sen actually published an article in 1990 (linked above) claiming that there are over 100 million women missing in Asia due to sex-selective abortions, female infanticide, and unequal medical treatment given to girls. Of course this continues today, and I find it to be one of the most depressing truths about the world.

Here's the chart provided on their website:

I think it's safe to assume that most of you won't even bat an eyelash at this report. I'll tell you that I don't feel like I learned anything new from this. They've produced the same information every year. Women are dying and nobody cares. Women can't get an education and nobody cares. Things have DEFINITELY improved, thanks to those who try to do something about it. But most don't. So, if you could do me a favor and just during your day sometime pray for these women around the world, I would love you forever.

And excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep.

Lesson #64

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Where have you been?!

Mmk. I'm reeeaaaally sorry about not updating this lately. BUT here are things of late:

a) I moved back to my lovely home state. Gag me.

b) I wake up at noon everyday and watch Netflix. Love my life.

c) I chill with the sister missionaries all the live long day.

That is it. Shortest blog post ever. I'll update maybe tomorrow. Or the next day.

Oh! And my hair is dark again. I have ADD with my hair. Don't ask.

I love you all.

Lesson #63

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) You only read this for my controversial topics, so I'd like to supply you with some more.

First things first: LADY PARTS

I'm sure a lot of you squirm at the thought of discussing this topic (men and women alike), to which I would like to tell you to GET OVER IT. Ladies: You have them, so stop being embarrassed about talking about them. Gentlemen: At some point in your life you will have to live with the realities of this, so stop fussing so much. SHEESH.

Don't worry, I'm not going to be "graphic." I just would like to point something out. I am a woman. Naturally, I've determined this based on my physical differences between my male counterparts. I was born this way, and I like me this way. My lady parts allow me to have all sorts of advantages, namely the ability to have babies, not get hurt when hit in the crotch with a ball, etc. So I DO NOT appreciate when ANYONE, men or women, make me feel like my natural body is gross or tainted or unmentionable.

My body is beautiful just the way it is. All bodies are. But guess what. Every month, like clockwork, I have a PERIOD. No, it is not necessarily the cutest feature I possess, but I do not hate it and I do not feel dirty when I'm experiencing it. It is not a gross thing, so STOP BEING SO AFRAID OF IT!!!!!

Second topic: PRO-CHOICE

I am pro-choice. I think I have mentioned this on a previous occasion, but I did not expand.

For those out there that don't understand this terminology, it means that I believe a woman has the right to an abortion if she so chooses. No, I would not personally choose to do so, and no, I do not advise women to do so. However, if that is their decision, I support them.

I've upset a lot of people by saying this, but I think watching this short video would help you broaden your view just a little bit. Hopefully.

As someone who studies poverty, I know that controlling the population can help tremendously with controlling poverty. I also know that some women are so desperate to not have to feed another child that if we do not legalize abortions, they will do it on their own somehow, which could cost their life.

Instead of trying SO hard to keep children in the womb, why don't we spend more time trying to keep the children that are born healthy? Why don't we try harder to provide healthcare for those women and their children? I think our priorities are messed up.

And thirdly: RAPE

I bring this up based on a conversation I recently had with someone who I deeply admire and respect. Our conversation, however, made me very upset to the point that I cannot accept what they believe in this case.

I will ALWAYS defend a woman who was raped. I don't care if she was drinking. I don't care if she was dressed "inappropriately." I don't care if she was alone at night. I don't care if she hangs out with "questionable people." If a man forces her to have sex, it is wrong. And it is not less wrong if she is a "promiscuous" person.

Perhaps there are certain situations we can avoid or certain people we can avoid to prevent such terrible things happening. But A WOMAN DOES NOT CAUSE HER OWN RAPE. Any woman who is put through that goes through as much trauma as the next, no matter her sexual history.

I just wonder if I had ever gone down a path that led me to be a woman who drinks fairly often and dresses for attention and sleeps with strange men, would my family still care about me? Would they still love me? I would like to think that they would. So despite my history or standards, if I was raped they would probably care. A LOT.

It's funny how you start to see things different when you imagine them happening to your family or to yourself. Think about it.

Lesson #62

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Reason #23,092 God made me a Mormon.

I think smoking is cool.

I'm just going to throw it out there, because all I've been doing for the past week is watching people smoke like crazy on a tv show and it just makes me wish that a.) smoking wouldn't kill me b.) it wouldn't make me really wrinkly with yellow teeth and c.) it wouldn't kill all the people around me.

I remember when I was little, my brother and I would go to the gas station by our house and buy candy cigarettes and pretend to smoke them. All I could think was "I know smoking is bad and my teachers tell us it isn't cool, but it is! Everyone who smokes looks awesome!"

Maybe I get this terrible attitude from all the old movies I grew up watching. Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart - all my favorite actors were chimneys! For heaven's sake, look at the AWESOMENESS of James Dean:

I don't think he could get any sexier.

This is just another reason why I'm convinced God wanted me to be Mormon. My mind is so polluted with this stupid reasoning for bad things. If it wasn't for religion, I would probably have lung cancer by now. And a baby. Really, being religious has saved my life, I'm pretty sure.

2.) Rantings?!?!

So at work the other day I heard a conversation like this:

Girl #1: The only problem with my career field is that women definitely don't get paid as much as men. Everyone knows it. But there's less of us, so I don't know.

Girl #2: Ya, that really sucks. But it's just the way it is, you know?

Me: WHAT THE?!?!?!?

SO me being me (of course) I pulled aside Girl #2 after the other one had left and I informed her that she has a TERRIBLE attitude. She replied saying, "I know it's a terrible thing. But have you read the news lately about women in Afghanistan? It's awful what they go through. We're so lucky here, you know?"

I have a few points about that. Don't worry, I shared them with her too. But you all need to understand this.

#1 - The "recent" news about women in Afghanistan has been going on FOR QUITE A WHILE. I absolutely HATE when people state these things as "recent." They're very old traditions. Also, don't try to enlighten me about women's situations around the world, especially when you're just coming to found out about it (which is a tragedy in and of itself). This is what I study, think about, and talk about all day. I could talk your ear off for a YEAR about what women go through in this world.

#2 - There are terrible things that happen to people all over the world. Though "comparatively" we of the developed world have it "better," I cannot look at the tragedies of other women and settle for what we've been given. Yes, a lot of women would LOVE to be in our situations. But I'm sure that even if we pulled a girl from Afghanistan to live, study, and work in the United States, at some point she would see the injustices. She would notice she wasn't getting paid as much as her male counterparts, or she would notice that thousands of women struggle without healthcare, or she would notice that women only comprise of 13% of Congress, when we make up more than half the population. I really don't think any educated woman, despite her history, would think that was ok. And she would fight it.

We CANNOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WE DESERVE. Do you understand that? I REFUSE to be paid less. I REFUSE to be seen as an object rather than a person. I REFUSE to accept the fact that I am in charge of a man not raping me. I REFUSE to raise my children in ignorance.

When you settle for less, you make it harder for those who want to achieve equality. Just so you know.

Lesson #61

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Body image.

As a feminist, I am constantly abhorred by all the terrible things women and girls are subject to as a result of the media's portrayal of the "ideal woman" - tall, skinny, perfect skin, beautiful hair. Women and girls suffer from depression, severely low self-esteem, and are prone to developing eating disorders. In a recent study, over 75 percent of fourth graders claimed they were "on a diet."

This is disgusting to me. Even more disgusting? Even the women we view as already perfect don't quite make the cut.

The real Faith Hill is on the left. On the right, you will notice they slimmed her arms, her back, her face, and they removed any blemishes before putting her picture on the cover of this magazine.

What kind of world are we living in that would allow this to happen? It's issues like this that led me to becoming a feminist in the first place.

Yet here's the thing - though I absolutely HATE this, I am indeed a victim of this society in that I experience low self-esteem about my body A LOT. As much as I try to talk myself out of it, I hate looking at myself naked. I get jealous every time I see a beautiful girl that I wish I looked like. I still imagine myself losing 15 pounds and knowing that life would be better if I did.

But I will say that I've come a loooooong way since taking a stand against this injustice. Becoming a feminist gave me the self confidence to look at myself and honestly like what I see - not just what I look like, but who I am as a person.

An important concept dawned on me today while I was in the bathroom. All inspiring thoughts come to me in the bathroom. While critiquing my body in a mirror, I had the sudden realization that I AM A HEALTHY WEIGHT. And I'm 99.9% sure that this is my healthy weight and I cannot compare my body to anyone else because NO TWO WOMEN ARE ALIKE.

SO. If you don't like what I look like, I suggest you stop looking at me because I'm probably not going to look any different. And I understand that although I've come to terms with this, I will definitely still have "fat days" and I will probably try at least 10 new diets. But I'm pretty ok with me. Besides, those diets are not going to last more than 2 days before I remember that I really love ice cream.

For the record, I think you're beautiful. And I think you should think that too.

Lesson #60

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Childhood.

Every time I visit my hometown I get really sentimental, though I often complain about growing up in Nebraska. Don't get me wrong, I love it and I'm so glad I grew up in a place with amazing people and opportunities, it's just a little too humid and a little too boring for me. Anyway, spending the last week here has led me to finding photo albums and subsequently spending some time reminiscing about my life here that I left behind.

I don't miss high school. Not one bit, though I do miss my friends. Middle school I've completely erased from my memory. It's elementary school days that I crave. I just wish I was a kid again. I miss not having any real responsibilities or homework or people to disappoint. I miss having the entire summer to play with friends and not understand that life goes on outside of my cul-de-sac. I miss not having to carry other people's burden on my shoulders. I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted and never have to gain a single unwanted pound. I miss having friends that didn't understand what drama was and were always there to play. I miss having the innocence that accompanies childhood that makes you believe every person you meet is good.

At least I've got my big brother on my side. Always has been, always will be.

I was trying to think of a really good story for you guys, but all I really remember are the daily things - going to the zoo, being forced to wear duck raincoats, dressing up for Halloween, hiding from my mom in the clothes rack at Walmart...you know, the good stuff.

What's your favorite childhood memory?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

18 months

+

+

=

MY MISSION

...in Berlin, Germany.

I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesson #59

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Ignorant and stupid Americans.

Hey, folks. As you are all [probably] aware, this is my favorite subject to address because it's by far the most amusing thing to observe, especially on my far right-wing college campus.

Now, I'm not saying that all right-wing peeps are ignorant or stupid, but I am saying that almost all the ignorant and stupid people I know are very right-wing. Don't hate me.

Anyway, amid debt crisis and other notably important events happening in our country recently, I've enjoyed the random and usually unsupported statements that include but are not limited to:

"Obama is single-handedly ruining this country!"

"Our president is the worst president ever!"

"Obama is responsible for all of this! He doesn't know how to run this country!"

May I add, "Do you know how to run this country?"

Didn't think so.

Well, I hate to break it to ya guys. Love him or hate him, Obama doesn't really have anything to do with this debt crisis. In fact, the president's job doesn't really have that great of an impact on the things that go into our daily lives. He commands the military, [sometimes] improves foreign relations, and he can sign or veto bills. He can even create a bill if he wants! But pretty much EVERYTHING ELSE is decided by Congress. You know, those people we call Senators and House Representatives that we're supposed to be voting for every 6 and 2 years that nobody cares about? THEY ARE THE REASON NOTHING HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED BECAUSE THEY ARE DEADLOCKED AND REFUSE TO COMPROMISE.

I know you guys need someone to blame all our problems on, but personally, I would blame all the members of Congress and then blame yourself for not taking their role in our country's political system more seriously.

Oh, and get your statements supported by facts. It makes you seem smarter, I promise.

How can you hate this face?

Lesson #58

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Beeeeee yourself.

Alright fools. I've been thinking a lot lately, which is only semi-unusual, and I've decided something really important.

I am Aladdin, minus his manhood and magic carpet.

As shown in the clip above, Aladdin has a hard time trying to be his real self around girls he likes. Or when he's in a situation he's afraid of. Pretty much I think I have the same problem. It's not that I'm not being myself in similar situations, I just have a hard time letting people know what I'm really like sometimes because I know they wouldn't appreciate it. Does that make sense?

My biggest problem in this area is convincing [certain] people that I'm the nicest, most humble person on the planet. People who know me well will get a good kick out of this lovely piece of imagery in their heads, I'm pretty sure. But seriously, it's a problem. I'll meet really nice guys and I know that they'd be totally turned off if they knew what I was really thinking all the time, so I only let the positive vibes flow.

Let's face it, folks. I have great potential to be a gigantic beyotch. I also have great potential to be caring and genuine. As my dentist put it this morning, "You are probably the most unique person I've ever met."

Damn straight. I'm me and I like it that way. Now to break it to some of my friends...

___________

On a side note, please be aware of one of the many conversations I enjoy with my dentist.

Dentist: Why are you making all those weird sounds? You sound like all the kids that come in.

Me: Because you're making me uncomfortable. Duh. Haven't you ever been in this chair?

Dentist: It's not that bad.

Me: Well let's just say I hate having other people in my mouth. That's why I don't have a boyfriend.

Everyone in the office: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Dentist: I can't wait for you to be a missionary.

Lesson #57

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) I'm still alive.

Yo all my peeps and all the sheople. I'm still alive, in case you were wondering. Also, I'm still kicking. Really hard. Just ask the 7 guys I've been living with for the past 48 hours.

Anyway, it's been awhile since I've posted and for that I am crying for you on the inside. I know your lives revolve around my advice and blessing upon your heads.

I've got some fresh advice I just pooped out of my brain (which coincidentally comes out your ear...don't know why.)

Here are the latest do's and do not's.

DO have really awesome friends that rub your back and feed you ice cream when you're sad. It's the best medicine.

DO NOT hike the "Subway" at Zions National Park after having taken a 3 month hiatus from any form of exercise. It's excruciating. Also, I almost died. Like 5 times.

DO wear a tank top and shorts whenever appropriate so as to receive a lovely light tan. I'm complemented everyday on my "skin tone" as if I could buy this color in a store. No people, I earned it.

DO NOT travel 7 hours in a car with someone who drives you insane.

DO take me out for Indian food.

DO NOT make me upset.

Alright. That should tie you over until Harry Potter is over.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Peeps.

Listen up.

I have a deep dark secret that has been leaked, so I'm just going to announce it to the whole world right this second. I've been fighting this for awhile, but I am finally [in the process of] humbling myself.

I've had what my some of my lovely friends call a "coming to Jesus" moment. Except my moment was on crack because I've decided to do something crazy.

I'm going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I wasn't going to tell a lot of people until I got my papers in (which is like a week away), but too many people know now so everyone might as well be on the same page.

Let me answer some frequently asked questions:

#1. I thought you were going to France?!!?!

Yes, I was. I didn't lie about that. Buuuut the tables turned a little bit and I decided to put in my papers instead. Hopefully I'll still be going to France! (keep your fingers crossed)

#2. Where do you want to go?

French-speaking or state side. Or both. Technically my answer should be "wherever the Lord sends me" but who are we kidding...I'm Lesa and I tend to tell what I'm really thinking all the time. Don't worry, God knows it and that's why he's constantly chastising me.

#3. I was pretty sure you stopped going to church...

Alright, this one's kind of embarrassing for me because hardly anyone knew this about me, but it's true that I stopped attending church for a short period of time...about 8 months or so. But it doesn't really matter because I'm back, so mind your own business!

#4. Does this mean you're a republican again?

HECK no. I'm still pro-choice and I love gay people and I want them to get married if they want to. Don't worry, I checked with my bishop and he said I can't get in trouble for having my opinions :)

#5. Why are you giving up 18 months of your life?

Honestly, I don't really know. And I probably won't know until I'm out there. But I can tell you one thing - I honestly believe with all my heart that God asked me to do this, and so that means I'm going to do it. That's all it takes. I don't know all the answers, but I know enough.

Guys, this is really happening. I've got this weird mixture of excitement and nervousness that makes me feel like I'm going to barf every time I think about it. But don't worry, I'll get over it. Hopefully.

ps. I know I used a lot of Mormon lingo in this post, so if my lovely non-LDS friends need some clarification, let me know.

Lesson #56

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Anxiety.

I think I'm on a roll with talking about tv shows on my blog. You'll just have to get over it.

Lately I've been watching Prison Break on Netflix. Let me illustrate the various emotions I experience while watching an episode:

It took me a really long time to do that, so I hope you enjoyed it.

Basically, I have a panic attack at the end of each episode and I start screaming and throwing my head under the blanket. I've never experienced an emotional rollercoaster this giant in my ENTIRE life.

On top of that, I have the world's largest obsession with Wentworth Miller, the main character in the show.

Yes, he does make my heart melt.

And yes, I may or may not be experiencing really steamy dreams of which he is the star.

I'm never waking up ever again.

ps. This is a little off-topic, but I just wanted to give a big shout-out to NY for making good decisions. That is all.

Lesson #55

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Guilty pleasures.

We all have them. Something we secretly love more than life but would never admit to anyone, or at least not to people you don't know or you're trying to impress.

Well today I am going to reveal one of my favorites: I watch The Bachelorette.

YES, I understand it is completely against all feminist ideals. I really hate it and I'm constantly criticizing it all the time, but I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT.

There are several reasons for this obsession, or at least for this season.

#1. Ames

He is soooo cute! You just want to pinch his cheeks. He studied at Harvard and Yale and he's the kindest most gentle guy on the planet. Life will lose meaning if he's kicked off.

#2. Drama

I don't consider myself a drama queen, but this show will make you giddy with all the ridiculous made-up tension the producers infuse into the story line. It almost wants to make you barf it's so unreal. Get this: Ashely (THE Bachelorette) totally fell for the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet named Bentley, who happens to be from Salt Lake. Anyway, this guy decides to leave because she's not pretty enough and her heart was broken. She tried to get over him, but a couple weeks later she decided she "needed closure" with Bentley and asked him to come back. So he's coming back next on next week's episode and all the other guys are PISSED. You have to watch it with me. We'll laugh and throw popcorn at the screen.

.......

I tried to think of other reasons but none were coming to mind. That's all I really needed to keep me coming back every week.

In case you were wondering, this is Ashley, the Bachelorette for this season.

She's from Maine and she just graduated from UPenn's Dental school. She also dances and competed nationally.

But what do the guys say every time they get a chance to talk to her?

"Uhh...you're gorgeous. I like you because you're pretty and so real and I feel so much chemistry."

You are dumb, boys. She has all this going for her and all you can tell her is that she's pretty?

Dumb.

Lesson #54

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Meeting my dad.

This is for all those awesome people in my life who have yet to meet my father, most especially the man I perhaps might marry someday.

There are some things you need to know about Daddy. First of all, his name is Timothy but you could probably call him Mr. Young or Brother Young (it's a mormon thing). I don't know of anyone my age or younger that calls him Tim, though I don't think he would get mad at you for it. He's been mistaken as my older brother before, so don't let his good looks and absent gray hairs fool you. He exercises like a madman and puts all of his children to shame on that front. Most of all, his family is the most important thing in the entire world to him - never forget that.

There are several rules you must understand and follow before meeting Daddy.

#1 - He looks scary, but he's harmless. And when I say he looks scary, I just mean that he's really really tall and very buff and he isn't quick to smile (guess where I got that special trait from...!). I promise he wouldn't hurt a fly, so don't act scared around him. You might frighten him away.

#2 - Daddy doesn't really like being around a lot of people, so don't take his shyness or tendency to leave the room a bad sign. He's really getting better at this, so he might surprise you!

#3 - My daddy is probably the funniest person I know, but his hilarious outbursts of humor are sporadic. Don't be completely shocked when you see him dancing to some 90's music or trying to rap. Sometimes during dinner he'll randomly put a napkin on his face and stick his tongue out (it's kind of terrifying) or start singing the "bean song" about tooting. Family dinners are the best, just saying.

#4 - If you don't really know what subject to bring up, stick to things like running, fishing, family, etc. Don't ask about work, he's not a huge fan of it. And NEVER ask him science-related or church questions unless you want him to talk for hours and never stop. That's why I always allowed myself plenty of time for my dad to explain math problems to me in high school - there was no such thing as a short cut or an easy answer.

#5 - I love my daddy more than anything on the planet, and if for some reason he doesn't like you (which has hardly ever happened, trust me) then I won't like you either. Got it? Good.

Happy Father's Day to the best daddy in the world! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you!

Lesson #53

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) New-age communication.

I am in a love/hate relationship with modern technology. It's awesome how I can skype with my family, email people important things across the globe in seconds for free, and be tracked down by my mother using my cell phone coordinates. Modern communication has revolutionized the world, as we've seen from the influences of social media on the revolutions in northern Africa and how youtube made Justin Bieber so famous. He is truly a gift to this world.

However, modern technology has just become another reason in my life to accomplish absolutely nothing at the same time. How does that even happen? Sure, my constant stalking of CNN.com keeps me up on the "haps," but Netflix has ruined my desire to do anything about that information I have (I love you Netflix, don't take that the wrong way).

By far the worst thing to come out of modern technology and communication is texting. Actually, just cell phones in general. It's certainly handy when I need to get a hold of someone right away, but it totally sucks when someone needs to get a hold of me. I hate talking to people on the phone, and I only answer half the texts I receive in a day. It's not that I don't like talking to you, but that I'm too lazy to talk to you at that moment. Or for the whole day. Trust me, if you actually came over I would talk for hours. Other than that, don't expect me to respond to your attempts to contact me.

I will admit that texting is better than talking to me on the phone. It's faster, easier, and we don't have to practice any of that crap phone etiquette. Quick and to the point.

ps. I have had this song stuck in my head all day. You're welcome.