Lesson #43

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) You don't know what real love is.

I have a lot of pet peeves, but every time someone asks me what they are I can't name more than two. BUT. I thought of one while reading a blog. And this is how it goes:

I really really really HATE it when people are obsessed with something they know nothing about. For example, there are 50 million girls in America right now that have all sorts of jewelry or posters or lamp shades that depict the Eiffel Tower. You don't deserve to wear that sacred symbol! Worse than that, many of these people have rich parents that take them to France where they can spend all their money pretending they're French, when in fact they can't speak a lick of the language and they're obnoxious tourists that French people don't actually like!

Get it through your heads. Liking France and really appreciating it are two different things. You don't get to because you haven't spent three years of your life conjugating verbs in the subjunctive. So there.

Another one that I DESPISE are girls that are obsessed with "vintage" things. First of all girls, you have no idea what that word means. When you say the word "vintage" you are basically describing anything made before the 1990's and after the early 1800's. That's a freaking huge time period, in case you didn't know. Most girls like to pin it to the 1920's through the 60's, but each of those decades are known for different trends and styles in music, dress, and art. So you really can't group them into one word. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I guess a lot of these people feel like they're entitled because they have the money to go to France and buy "vintage" clothes, but you don't understand the true essence so TOO BAD. I win.

2.) Real love is in the form of Asian men.

Ok, sorry about my rant. I had to get that out. And for your cooperation, I will let you in a little secret that I've decided I'm not so ashamed of anymore: I am extremely attracted to Asian men.

I don't know why I've had this secret obsession, but I believe it all started when I first saw Cinderella with Brandy. You know the one I'm talking about? You can't miss it. Brandy (Cinderella) is black and her stepmother is white, yet one of her step-sisters is black and the other one is white. The queen is black and the king is white, and their son is Asian. It's awesome. Anyway, so I find that prince hunky and always have.

Yum.

So after that I was in love. I distinctly remember watching the 2000 Olympics in Australia and thinking the Japanese gymnasts were soooooo hot. It just went downhill from there.

Now you know my secret. I hope you liked it.

Lesson #4

Today's Lesson Objectives Include:

1.) Playing the game "human knot" will never be the same after attempting it with Japanese kids.

When I tell you to picture an Asian person talking, what do you see and hear? There's a good chance that it is a small person with jet black hair speaking gibberish in a high-pitched sort of whiny voice. I don't mean disrespect to any Asians, but you have to admit this is what is pops into your head. And it's true. Now take that person you see and transform it into a 14 year old Japanese boy. Now add 30 more of them. Now picture them all in a circle holding hands trying to get themselves out of a knot they put themselves into and crank of the volume of their voices about 20 times. See it?

Absolutely hilarious.


2.) French hates everyone.

I'm talking about the language, not the people, though that is a definite possibility. I suppose french isn't so hard to learn if you are exposed to it all the time and study really hard, but what happens when you are a college student and you could care less? You guessed it. The stupid language decides to ruin your gpa. And on top of that you paid money to take the class and you still can't speak a lick of it. Word of advice: make everyone learn english.

3.) The laundromat is a haven for intellectual thinkers.

There is just something about the laundromat that calms your soul and cleanses the mind. Perhaps it is that intoxicating smell of detergent, or the fact that the heat is always on full blast. Whatever the case, it seems to bring out the best in everyone. Those who care about their grades find it a relaxing place to do homework and concentrate. For the others, which includes me, the laundromat seems a place of limitless possibilities for the mind. It all of the sudden becomes possible for me to be able to sit and stare at the wall or the spinning dryers for an hour and a half and think of absolutely nothing and LOVE it. I will live in one someday, I have decided. That or the testing center.