Dear America,
You are pretty great. I don't say that very often because sometimes I'm upset with your politics. But it's true, you have some really great qualities. For starters, you're pretty attractive. I mean, Yellowstone? That's one hot piece of land you got there. And don't even get me started on the California Redwoods. Mmm.
I appreciate your role in the arts. Your role in the development of theater and the cinema are tremendous, though I have to admit you've been slacking in recent years. Just saying. But your contributions are indeed incredible, nobody can deny that. American art and literature will also always hold a place in my heart, and don't even get me started on jazz. Jazz is by far the greatest thing you have ever given to this earth and has saved probably saved our relationship on many an occasion.
Again, you're pretty great. I don't know how else to say this, but...I think we need a break. Maybe a more permanent one. I know, I know, I've been dragging this on for a while. We should have just ended things right after I left you for Germany, but I wasn't sure how that would end up. I mean, I did go back to France like five months later, so if that's any indication...
Anyway. I don't mean to hurt you, it's me not you. I just don't think we're going to work out, that's all. I would love to be friends, and I think it would be great if we had lunch every once in a while (I mean, we've been together for so long, how could we just break it off?). I just don't think we'll make each other happy anymore.
I love you. I've always loved you, and I'll never forget you. I hope you understand.
Love,
Me.
Showing posts with label loves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loves. Show all posts
1.23.2014
10.29.2013
Sharing hilarity.
I'm going to take a break from writing about heavy subjects that tear your soul apart and just brag about my family for a bit.
I have the best family in the world. And no, you cannot contest that. It's just the truth and you have to accept it.
I'd like to think I have an amusing sense of humor. I like to make people laugh and it's gotten me out of many a potentially awkward situation. I learned these skills, as most do, from my family. My mother, almost always smiling and lighting up the room with her bubbly personality, loves to make people feel welcome. This is most assuredly done through making people laugh. My father, less outgoing but surprisingly talkative when you get him on the right subjects, has a secretly dark sense of humor. My childhood memories of my daddy include, but are not limited to: learning to sing the "fart" song whenever beans were served with dinner, begging Dad to do the napkin face (he put a napkin on his face and stuck his tongue through it - why we loved it, I don't know), hearing our names being substituted for the evil people in the Bible and Book of Mormon whenever Dad read aloud to us, and staying up late to watch the show Max X. I've never heard my dad laugh so hard than when watching people get seriously hurt doing incredibly stupid things.
Needless to say, my siblings and I soaked in the influences of my parents - my mother's ability to target an individual's sense of humor and adapt the conversation to make them feel at ease, and my father's taste for somewhat indecent and justifiably hilarious things in life. It could easily be said that this combination has produced one of the most hilarious and awesome families ever to exist on the planet.
And so. I was emailing back and forth with my brother Mitch yesterday. I would like to share this conversation with you, mostly because a) I find it hilarious and I want to share it with the whole world and b) you need to understand how amazing my brother is.
WARNING: If you like Nascar and/or are from the South, this might offend you.
Me: I'm supposed to be looking up the top magazines for NASCAR fans for my job right now. WHO DEDICATES WHOLE MAGAZINES TO THIS STUFF.
Mitch: There's more than one magazine for NASCAR?? Wtf? It's probably pretty enlightening I guess.
"I only get these NASCAR magazines for the.... articles..."
Me: I hate motor sports. They are so dumb. Seriously, how can this be one of the most popular sports in the world?
Mitch: Cause it's waay cool. Think about it- they go reaaaally fast. Also... beer.
Me: And the occasional boom boom. Nothing like a good car crash to make me want to drink more beer and love my life.
Mitch: "WOW! It's so loud! Did you see tha- HEY, why doesn't my liver work?"
Me: "One beer for every lap!"
Mitch: I drink beer during nascar races because I don't get dizzy enough when I'm sober.
Hey, wanna go shoot something afterwards?
Me: You mean dem hippies? Ja.
Mitch: Correction: Dam hippies. Dam mexicanos. Dam nigroes. 'member the confederation? Thems was good days.
Me: Them good days wen we had all dem der cotton. An now I cain't get up off dis dam porch. Dam yankees took all the moneys there wuz.
Mitch: Slavry was a good thing two. It's in the Bible somewer.
Me: Yer got that right mister. Hey, pass the butter why don't ya? I ain't got enuf here on my butter cake.
Mitch: y'aint gonna deep fry that sucker first?
Me: I alredy done deep fried the butter and sugar befur I made the cake. And I put in dem friend pickles you like so much.
Mitch: thank'ya's'much darlin. you're the best fieansay/close relative I ever dun did have (toothless grin)
Me: I think nows the time to tell ya dat one of them chickens done peed on yur truck. Mind ya, I wus fit to be tied. But I cain't get that stain off.
Mitch: S'aright. Times a'comin for a new 'n besides. i thnks i seed a new one at the junk'ard anyhows. Just give the yold'n to Jeheremihuh. Jethrow and I'll get the other'n after t'mar's nascar match
Me: I can't keep up with you. You're too good at this.
Mitch: Well you know... lots of practice. What else do you think we did at scout camp for 5 years?
You're welcome.
I have the best family in the world. And no, you cannot contest that. It's just the truth and you have to accept it.
I'd like to think I have an amusing sense of humor. I like to make people laugh and it's gotten me out of many a potentially awkward situation. I learned these skills, as most do, from my family. My mother, almost always smiling and lighting up the room with her bubbly personality, loves to make people feel welcome. This is most assuredly done through making people laugh. My father, less outgoing but surprisingly talkative when you get him on the right subjects, has a secretly dark sense of humor. My childhood memories of my daddy include, but are not limited to: learning to sing the "fart" song whenever beans were served with dinner, begging Dad to do the napkin face (he put a napkin on his face and stuck his tongue through it - why we loved it, I don't know), hearing our names being substituted for the evil people in the Bible and Book of Mormon whenever Dad read aloud to us, and staying up late to watch the show Max X. I've never heard my dad laugh so hard than when watching people get seriously hurt doing incredibly stupid things.
Needless to say, my siblings and I soaked in the influences of my parents - my mother's ability to target an individual's sense of humor and adapt the conversation to make them feel at ease, and my father's taste for somewhat indecent and justifiably hilarious things in life. It could easily be said that this combination has produced one of the most hilarious and awesome families ever to exist on the planet.
And so. I was emailing back and forth with my brother Mitch yesterday. I would like to share this conversation with you, mostly because a) I find it hilarious and I want to share it with the whole world and b) you need to understand how amazing my brother is.
WARNING: If you like Nascar and/or are from the South, this might offend you.
Me: I'm supposed to be looking up the top magazines for NASCAR fans for my job right now. WHO DEDICATES WHOLE MAGAZINES TO THIS STUFF.
Mitch: There's more than one magazine for NASCAR?? Wtf? It's probably pretty enlightening I guess.
"I only get these NASCAR magazines for the.... articles..."
Me: I hate motor sports. They are so dumb. Seriously, how can this be one of the most popular sports in the world?
Mitch: Cause it's waay cool. Think about it- they go reaaaally fast. Also... beer.
Me: And the occasional boom boom. Nothing like a good car crash to make me want to drink more beer and love my life.
Mitch: "WOW! It's so loud! Did you see tha- HEY, why doesn't my liver work?"
Me: "One beer for every lap!"
100 laps later...
"Uhhhsldnnskla;
200 laps later...
Dead.
Me: You mean dem hippies? Ja.
Mitch: Correction: Dam hippies. Dam mexicanos. Dam nigroes. 'member the confederation? Thems was good days.
Me: Them good days wen we had all dem der cotton. An now I cain't get up off dis dam porch. Dam yankees took all the moneys there wuz.
Mitch: Slavry was a good thing two. It's in the Bible somewer.
Me: Yer got that right mister. Hey, pass the butter why don't ya? I ain't got enuf here on my butter cake.
Mitch: y'aint gonna deep fry that sucker first?
Me: I alredy done deep fried the butter and sugar befur I made the cake. And I put in dem friend pickles you like so much.
Mitch: thank'ya's'much darlin. you're the best fieansay/close relative I ever dun did have (toothless grin)
Me: I think nows the time to tell ya dat one of them chickens done peed on yur truck. Mind ya, I wus fit to be tied. But I cain't get that stain off.
Mitch: S'aright. Times a'comin for a new 'n besides. i thnks i seed a new one at the junk'ard anyhows. Just give the yold'n to Jeheremihuh. Jethrow and I'll get the other'n after t'mar's nascar match
Me: I can't keep up with you. You're too good at this.
Mitch: Well you know... lots of practice. What else do you think we did at scout camp for 5 years?
You're welcome.
7.16.2013
The "F" word.
Let me tell you a story.
On the last day of my mission, I traveled to Berlin to meet up with the other missionaries who were going to be flying home with me, all of which were Elders (missionaries of the male gender). Sitting in a room of the mission office surrounded by these Elders, I was more than a little uncomfortable, especially since I had been taught for 18 months to NEVER find myself in this situation. But alas, it could not be helped, and I sat there impatiently waiting my turn to have an interview with our mission president.
I'm not exactly sure how this next part came to pass, but I remember one Elder in particular, who must not be named and who I had not met previously, decided to brave the forbidden waters and engage me in seemingly light-hearted conversation. A little out of touch with talking to people of the opposite sex I suppose, he found it a perfect opportunity to tell me everything he had heard about me on the mission - every. single. rumor.
Not a minute had passed and several other Elders decided to pipe in similar feedback. Now, I'm not exactly surprised at what I heard. I knew I had a reputation for being outspoken, blunt, and lacking in basic social manners. Most Elders (and Sisters) had heard I was a "feminist," and subsequently, not fully understanding the meaning of this term, were terrified to meet me. But that never bothered me, mostly because people who had actually experienced a personal interaction with me tended to like me, or at least learned to not be offended by my presence.
But the way these Elders, people I had never met or spoken to, were talking to me about me made me feel so uneasy and, quite frankly, hurt. Every negative term that came out of their mouth was also associated with me being a "feminist," as if all feminists are terrifying, man-hating, rude liberal loud-mouths (the usual stereotypes that I apparently posses). And it hurt because I knew that this twisted image they had of me would forever have been ingrained into their souls as being associated with feminism, had they not had the opportunity to finally meet me and understand who I am and what I stand for. It hurt because they didn't understand this wonderful movement that had changed my life for the better, and they were mocking it in my presence.
Feminism has become a dirty word, my friends, and for this I am very sad.
I could go on and on about what the feminist movement really is and what's it's done for the world and blah blah blah. But you already know this. I talk about it everyday and I post about it everyday and whether you believe it or not, you are probably being exposed to feminist "propaganda" on a regular basis, even when you're not graced by my presence. And you know what? You probably agree with most of it. Let's be honest, who doesn't want a world where women are treated like human beings? The crazies, that's who. I don't need to defend the feminist movement as much as try to help you understand that if you have a brain that functions probably, you are probably a feminist too.
The beauty of feminism is that it is really personal. Not every person who identifies with feminism agrees on every point! There's a place for everyone who desires gender equality.
I just want to tell you what feminism means to me.
Feminism has given me identity as a woman and has helped me to understand masculine identity. It has given me purpose and meaning in my life. It has given me the courage to stand up and say, "No, that is wrong." It has given me the courage to stand up and say, "Yes, this is me and yes, I believe this." My thoughts and feelings and opinions and hopes and dreams are all valid and real because I am a person and I deserve them. Feminism has taught me that I am equal to everyone, which has shaped the way I treat the people around me. It has helped me grow in my faith and helped me to understand how God sees me and who He wants me to become, and it has helped me to see what God sees in others.
I know I talk about this a lot, but I just wanted to put that out there. That is all.
On the last day of my mission, I traveled to Berlin to meet up with the other missionaries who were going to be flying home with me, all of which were Elders (missionaries of the male gender). Sitting in a room of the mission office surrounded by these Elders, I was more than a little uncomfortable, especially since I had been taught for 18 months to NEVER find myself in this situation. But alas, it could not be helped, and I sat there impatiently waiting my turn to have an interview with our mission president.
I'm not exactly sure how this next part came to pass, but I remember one Elder in particular, who must not be named and who I had not met previously, decided to brave the forbidden waters and engage me in seemingly light-hearted conversation. A little out of touch with talking to people of the opposite sex I suppose, he found it a perfect opportunity to tell me everything he had heard about me on the mission - every. single. rumor.
Not a minute had passed and several other Elders decided to pipe in similar feedback. Now, I'm not exactly surprised at what I heard. I knew I had a reputation for being outspoken, blunt, and lacking in basic social manners. Most Elders (and Sisters) had heard I was a "feminist," and subsequently, not fully understanding the meaning of this term, were terrified to meet me. But that never bothered me, mostly because people who had actually experienced a personal interaction with me tended to like me, or at least learned to not be offended by my presence.
But the way these Elders, people I had never met or spoken to, were talking to me about me made me feel so uneasy and, quite frankly, hurt. Every negative term that came out of their mouth was also associated with me being a "feminist," as if all feminists are terrifying, man-hating, rude liberal loud-mouths (the usual stereotypes that I apparently posses). And it hurt because I knew that this twisted image they had of me would forever have been ingrained into their souls as being associated with feminism, had they not had the opportunity to finally meet me and understand who I am and what I stand for. It hurt because they didn't understand this wonderful movement that had changed my life for the better, and they were mocking it in my presence.
Feminism has become a dirty word, my friends, and for this I am very sad.
I could go on and on about what the feminist movement really is and what's it's done for the world and blah blah blah. But you already know this. I talk about it everyday and I post about it everyday and whether you believe it or not, you are probably being exposed to feminist "propaganda" on a regular basis, even when you're not graced by my presence. And you know what? You probably agree with most of it. Let's be honest, who doesn't want a world where women are treated like human beings? The crazies, that's who. I don't need to defend the feminist movement as much as try to help you understand that if you have a brain that functions probably, you are probably a feminist too.
The beauty of feminism is that it is really personal. Not every person who identifies with feminism agrees on every point! There's a place for everyone who desires gender equality.
I just want to tell you what feminism means to me.
Feminism has given me identity as a woman and has helped me to understand masculine identity. It has given me purpose and meaning in my life. It has given me the courage to stand up and say, "No, that is wrong." It has given me the courage to stand up and say, "Yes, this is me and yes, I believe this." My thoughts and feelings and opinions and hopes and dreams are all valid and real because I am a person and I deserve them. Feminism has taught me that I am equal to everyone, which has shaped the way I treat the people around me. It has helped me grow in my faith and helped me to understand how God sees me and who He wants me to become, and it has helped me to see what God sees in others.
I know I talk about this a lot, but I just wanted to put that out there. That is all.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)