DTR

Dear America,

You are pretty great. I don't say that very often because sometimes I'm upset with your politics. But it's true, you have some really great qualities. For starters, you're pretty attractive. I mean, Yellowstone? That's one hot piece of land you got there. And don't even get me started on the California Redwoods. Mmm.

I appreciate your role in the arts. Your role in the development of theater and the cinema are tremendous, though I have to admit you've been slacking in recent years. Just saying. But your contributions are indeed incredible, nobody can deny that. American art and literature will also always hold a place in my heart, and don't even get me started on jazz. Jazz is by far the greatest thing you have ever given to this earth and has saved probably saved our relationship on many an occasion.

Again, you're pretty great. I don't know how else to say this, but...I think we need a break. Maybe a more permanent one. I know, I know, I've been dragging this on for a while. We should have just ended things right after I left you for Germany, but I wasn't sure how that would end up. I mean, I did go back to France like five months later, so if that's any indication...

Anyway. I don't mean to hurt you, it's me not you. I just don't think we're going to work out, that's all. I would love to be friends, and I think it would be great if we had lunch every once in a while (I mean, we've been together for so long, how could we just break it off?). I just don't think we'll make each other happy anymore.

I love you. I've always loved you, and I'll never forget you. I hope you understand.

Love,

Me.

Paris!

Mistake #1: Going to the most romantic city in the world by yourself.

Paris is gorgeous. There's so much to do and so much more to eat. The Eiffel Tower is a lot bigger than I had previously thought, the Catacombes were really weird, and I saw some of Van Gogh's work with my very own eyeballs. While I'm trying to convince myself that I am so lucky to be in Paris and see things people only dream of, all I can think about is sharing it with someone special - a boy I like, my friends, my mom. I think it would have been so much better if I would have brought a friend or met my lover or made Caitlyn come with me despite her protests of being too poor.

Mistake #2: Not doing the 2 things I really cared about.

The first thing I wanted to do was buy a baguette or chocolate or a crepe and sit down by the Eiffel Tower while eating my delicious snack and staring at people. This is a modified goal from the previous one of wanting to get into a baguette fight with one of the Olsen twins while on a french boy's shoulders. Seeing as the latter is a tad bit impossible, I thought I'd change it. So simple, and I didn't even get a chance to do it!!!
My second goal was to buy a penis baguette from the gay bakery. Self-explanatory.

Best decision ever #1: Not entering the Louvre.

Maybe people will hate me for this, but I quite honestly don't care a tiny bit that I didn't actually go in. I was perfectly fine with taking my picture by the weird pyramids and moving on.

Best decision ever #2: Not swimming in the Seine.

Wasn't planning on it, but seeing the water confirmed my dislike for gross things.

...

SO. Paris was good. I did many things. I would like to go back with someone, preferably a lover. French bread is good. The end.

Lyon

Lyon is one of the lesser-known places in France, yet it's the third largest city. I guess it makes sense since most people associate the country France with the city Paris, and when you ask them to name other cities the only ones they can think of are port cities like Marseille or Nice.

Yet somewhere in the middle of this beautiful country there is a fairly large city named Lyon, which I would say is the french equivalent of San Francisco - there are many large hills and hippies that dot the landscape.

In all of my french classes that discussed culture, they stressed two things you must do when visiting so as not to stand out - don't smile and dress nicely. When I arrived here, I was trying very hard not to smile despite my pure bliss. Yet almost every person I pass on the streets here will smile at you! I don't even look at them and I can hear a "bonjour!" and as I look over they are giving me the biggest smiles while holding their tiny dogs. Their choice of wardrobe is as surprising as their smiles. I saw a lady today wearing a flower pattern shirt and a plaid skirt. That is the biggest no no in the history of fashion, yet here is a seasoned french woman displaying her insane choice of patterns. I couldn't help but smile at how relaxed and nice everyone is here in Lyon. I feel a tad overdressed at times, which is huge for someone like me.

Everything here is ancient, which makes it so beautiful and romantic. I absolutely love visiting the old cathedrals and sitting in Vieux (Old) Lyon, just taking it all in. The parks here are spectacular, as you could imagine, and the food...where do I even start?! FOOOOOOD. Oh goodness, I could write a million blogs about the food. I promise I will gain 50lbs while I'm here. Oh! And I must mention the part I absolutely adore about this city because I'm a huge history buff - so Lyon was the center for the French Resistance during WWII. This was largely due to the secret passageways between buildings that the fighters used to escape the Nazis throughout the city. These passageways still exist and only a small percentage of them are marked, so it's kinda fun trying to find the other ones by opening random doors you'll see on the street. I don't know why, but I just love that.

I could go on forever about this city, but I'm sure you're already bored. I leave for Paris on Monday and I'm terrified that I won't like it because I'm pretty sure people don't smile there and they dress really nicely. But if you've been there, do you have any suggestions on what I should see?

la France

I did it.

I finally made it to the country of my dreams.

The only problem...? I've built France up in my head so much that I made it this wonderful, classy place in my imagination. I made it here only to find that I love it so much and I've convinced myself that I need to live here. This is a problem since I'm supposed to live in Africa someday.

Now let me explain. I'm not in Paris, and I'm convinced that it's the reason I love it here. Granted, it is only my second day, but there are hardly any tourists (none of which are American that I've seen), everyone thinks I'm french, and I had chocolate for breakfast this morning.

Lyon is gorgeous. It really is France's best kept secret, and I hope it stays that way. Also I'm planning on dropping out of school and staying here so if you want to visit please let me know.

See ya never.

Lesson #17

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Hideous blog layouts.

Yes, I know the layout for my blog is totally gay. I have no idea how to fix it, so until someone shows me you're going to have to read my [mostly] sarcastic commentary with an extremely girly and possibly immature background.

2.) Teachers that can make or break a class your education.

I am currently studying the french language. No, I am not fluent. Yes, I do suck at it. HOWEVER, I love it. It's a curse really, loving something you're not very good at. C'est la vie, n'est pas? I've unfortunately had the opportunity to speak with two of my french professors in the past 4 months that have each asked me if there is another major more suitable to my strengths. It really hurts having people, especially professionals in the field, not believe that you can do it.

These wonderful encounters with each of the professors reminded me of a most beloved choir teacher in high school. Not only did she personally not like me, but she made it clear that she didn't believe that I had what it took to excel in music. I kept trying to tell myself not to listen, but her attitude towards me affected me deeply. It didn't matter that I had sang in prestigious choirs or that I received extremely high scores from judges at competitions - she didn't believe in me, and I in turn couldn't believe in myself. Since then, I have regrettably given up on my music and the dream of singing professionally. I continue to sing, but mostly in the kitchen while I cook.

When I fell in love with french, I was super nervous because it isn't something that comes as easily to me as music does. So to have not one but two professors, on top of my apprehensions, tell me that I should study something different was really not the best thing for me. It was then that I thought back on what had happened to me a few short years ago and I realized something - I can do it. I should do it. And yes, I will do it.

So suck it Mrs. N. Je ne vous ai pas besoin.

I'm gonna learn the freaking language. Once this is accomplished I'm going to change the world. After that I am going to write a book about my experiences and I will dedicate it to those who didn't believe in me - without you guys, I would never have pushed myself so hard to be where I am today.

Lesson #4

Today's Lesson Objectives Include:

1.) Playing the game "human knot" will never be the same after attempting it with Japanese kids.

When I tell you to picture an Asian person talking, what do you see and hear? There's a good chance that it is a small person with jet black hair speaking gibberish in a high-pitched sort of whiny voice. I don't mean disrespect to any Asians, but you have to admit this is what is pops into your head. And it's true. Now take that person you see and transform it into a 14 year old Japanese boy. Now add 30 more of them. Now picture them all in a circle holding hands trying to get themselves out of a knot they put themselves into and crank of the volume of their voices about 20 times. See it?

Absolutely hilarious.


2.) French hates everyone.

I'm talking about the language, not the people, though that is a definite possibility. I suppose french isn't so hard to learn if you are exposed to it all the time and study really hard, but what happens when you are a college student and you could care less? You guessed it. The stupid language decides to ruin your gpa. And on top of that you paid money to take the class and you still can't speak a lick of it. Word of advice: make everyone learn english.

3.) The laundromat is a haven for intellectual thinkers.

There is just something about the laundromat that calms your soul and cleanses the mind. Perhaps it is that intoxicating smell of detergent, or the fact that the heat is always on full blast. Whatever the case, it seems to bring out the best in everyone. Those who care about their grades find it a relaxing place to do homework and concentrate. For the others, which includes me, the laundromat seems a place of limitless possibilities for the mind. It all of the sudden becomes possible for me to be able to sit and stare at the wall or the spinning dryers for an hour and a half and think of absolutely nothing and LOVE it. I will live in one someday, I have decided. That or the testing center.