Guest Blog Post: 4 Ways You Can Have a Major Feminist Impact on the Men in Your Life

Alright. It's been a while, I know. I've been busy coming up with lots of excuses for why I don't take the time to enlighten the world anymore, but I'm too lazy to share any of them. So I'm sharing something my friend wrote instead!

Whitney was one of my companions on my mission in Germany, and besides being pretty great she also happens to be a really talented writer. In fact, she champions her own awesome blog with her husband about their writing escapades. So when she asked if she could write something "feministy" for my blog*, the immediately answer was something to the effect of, "YES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE." 

*I would like to add that I claim all responsibility for inspiring her feminist dreams. 

I hope you enjoy - feel free to share your thoughts and hopes and dreams below!

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4 Ways You Can Have a Major Feminist Impact on the Men in Your Life

A few days ago, I asked my husband if he considered himself a feminist. “No” was the simple answer.

“What do you consider yourself, then?” I asked.

“I don’t consider myself anything. I just think that men and women should be equal and it’s a simple, reasonable thing to expect.”

As much as we agree on so many things about how things should be different in society, he plans to go without a label. He goes without a label because as Lesa has once pointed out, “feminism” is a new-age F-word to people who don’t quite understand the term or the people using the label. He doesn’t call me a feminist, either. He just calls me his equal.

So, to my fellow sisters and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I’d like to share four ways you can help your guy friends—in and out of the church—realize that they’re probably feminists too; they just don’t realize it yet.

1. Don’t Lecture—Share

John M. Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, knew when communication between spouses were a bust just by a tell-tale sign he calls “stonewalling.” He basically says that sometimes two people fight so much about something, that one person has a dramatic monologue and the other person doesn’t even bother arguing anymore; they disengage.

If you want to be a good influence on men or women, you can’t let them start to disengage. A way to do this is to have a two-way conversation, rather than a rant to finally hash out all your frustration you have against society on one poor person.

Guys don’t like to be lectured to, especially about feminism. If you need further proof, just check out #NotAllMen. Guys know that men mistreat women, and being blamed for all those mistakes is not something they can champion for you.

Instead, share. Have a conversation. This would mean that you’re sharing your thoughts about a subject, and you ask for his opinion. He’s allowed to have an opinion, right?

He’s going to realize at one point or another that he really does agree—that might not be until he’s got a little daughter of his own. Give him the benefit of the doubt; he needs to hear what it’s like to be a woman to really understand the daily ways he can show more respect to women. However, you can’t be responsible for changing his world in a day.

2. Don’t Divide—Show Your Support

Rather than hating on all guys, show how you personally value priesthood holders in your life. If you really believe in equality, look out for their rights, too.

They have to get “the talk” about porn, missions, and being temple-worthy just as much as we are pressured to get married, have kids, and dress modestly. How would you like sitting in a white shirt and tie and be lectured at for an hour on pornography or masturbation? They understand us more than we think.

Feminism has become so vile in the mouths of men (and women), because it plants the idea in their minds that by being a feminist, you must hate all men, or put them all on the same level as vile, untrustworthy, and incompetent. Well, we know that’s not true.

We can show legitimate support for the men that hold the priesthood—not merely because they hold the priesthood, but because they are mortal men trying to be worthy of the power ordained of God. They want to use their authority to bless their families and their community, so why not give them the confidence they need to do it?

3. Don’t Complain—Offer Solutions

It’s hard being in your 20s and all of a sudden, a world of hatred, misunderstanding, and injustice is unfolded before you. What’s a woman to do? I highly doubt that what I do will ever change the whole world in a day, but I know I have a small realm of influence that I can slowly improve with much more time.

If you feel like the women of the gospel could use a better example, why not be one? If they need a more fulfilling role in the ward you’re a part of—ask your bishop what you and the sisters can do. Find the boundary between what is gospel and what is "just the way things have always been” and help where you can actually help change something.

In essence, you can preach to your brothers in the gospel or nonmember friends until you’re blue in the face about what needs to be changed—but unless you have legitimate solutions or suggestions, it’ll only sound like ranting. Rantings give men the invitation to start stonewalling, and at the end, no one wins.

4. Don’t Get Mad—Get Spiritual

Instead of being upset with the fact that you can’t change others, be at peace, knowing that you can change yourself. Don’t let others bastardize your beliefs or testimony.

General Conference has come and gone. Who has enlightened you to recognize what you can do to change, and give you that power to change?

You can be a catalyst for change. Just don’t let it consume who you are and what you believe. As in, if you spend too much time devoting time trying to change other people, it will lead to a lot of frustration and self-doubt. I had a lot of that on my mission, trust me. People change when they want to, and on their own terms.

Trying to Be a “Good” Feminist

There is a famous logical fallacy called fallacy of composition, or basically thinking that what is true of a part must be true of the whole group. That would be like high school friends thinking that you had three moms. They heard one story about polygamy and thought it applied to everyone.

While this is considered a bad way to argue anything, what if men and women thought Mormon women were kick-ass and spiritual because they knew you? The media seems set on how they view us as women—subservient or whiny—and they don’t seem ready to change their minds. If that’s not who you are, then you can influence the people around you by your testimony and your genuine personality.

Know that Heavenly Father gave you a beautiful mind and spirit; He trusts that you will create small victories in this world to bring people closer together and hopefully closer to Him and His love. 

Whitney, a BYU graduate, is a writer, editor, and Pinterest addict. She claims that she realized she was a feminist in Germany as a sister missionary. Germany can do interesting things to the heart. 

You can find details about her current writings and obsessions through her website: witandtravesty.wordpress.com

On being a doubting Christian.

"I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ." - Gandhi





Anyone who knows me is fully aware of my brash personality. I almost always feel comfortable stating exactly what I'm thinking, I am not easily intimidated, and I have carefully developed very, very strong opinions. Though somewhat unconventional, I have come to really appreciate this about my personality.

I didn't always like this about myself. I was often meant to feel ashamed of having such a "strong" personality, and I was often told if I didn't keep myself in check that I wasn't going to make friends or even find someone to marry. On my LDS mission in Germany, I felt so inadequate when comparing myself to the other sister missionaries - they were all so charming and friendly and smiley. I was sulky and blunt and sometimes rude at best, which made it hard to give the first impressions members were seeking from their beloved sisters.

I eventually came to terms with this. I grew to tolerate it when I felt like I couldn't change myself (and I was very unhappy doing so). Eventually I came to realize that not only does God love me just the way I am, He just might have given me the personality traits that are necessary to broadening His work and addressing people's needs that maybe others wouldn't have been able to do.



During my long journey in finding truth and establishing my beliefs, I have questioned the faith I have grew up in many, many times. Even when I think I "know" enough, I learn something new or think of something in a differently light that makes me feel like I need to start all over again. This is nothing new or unique, and I've addressed these concerns and issues several times in this blog.

These doubts, combined with my rather loud personality, sometimes leads to clashes with other people. Though I have often felt ostracized and hurt by people who define much of their lives by membership in the LDS Church, I would like to state that I have felt more love and concern on my behalf than hate from the people in my life, in and outside of the Church. I do, however, completely understand when people I dearly love choose to remove themselves from religion because of the opinions of a few members. It's hard to be in an environment where you feel more judged than accepted, or more despised than welcome.

Yesterday I had dinner with a friend and her brother, the latter of which is struggling with his beliefs.  We were all raised in the LDS Church and we have all served missions, and because of the balance I've found between commitment to my faith and servicing my doubts, my friend thought that her brother might be interested in speaking with someone who shares a lot of the same thoughts.  We talked for several hours, addressing all of our concerns from women in the church to blacks and the priesthood, from our love of God to our acceptance of LGBT members of our community. It's at moments like this that I feel validated in my personality, and I feel grateful that I am able to be a person that some people feel like they can talk to and sympathize with.

A middle-aged woman sitting nearby, who had apparently been eavesdropping on our conversation with her teenage daughter, suddenly stood up and made her way over to our booth. Addressing me, she asked, "So, you served a mission for the church?" Surprised, I responded in the affirmative. "Well," she smirked, "you wouldn't know by the way you talk." She grabbed her glass of water, dumped it all over me, and walked away.


I would like to address a personal note, not only to this woman, but to people in the Church who have tendencies like her.

Madame,

I'm sorry you walked away so quickly after drenching me with your water, much to the surprise of the people around you. I wanted to talk to you and tell you that I'm sorry you were so offended by my personal opinions. I'm sorry that you are so angry about a private conversation between personal friends in which I openly talked about things that are hard for me to understand, and which seem to be in direct conflict with my affiliation with the LDS Church. I'm sorry that you felt no other way to express your feelings than by assaulting a stranger.

If you had listened more carefully, you would have heard me share my testimony of God and His love for us. You would have heard me expressing the decision I've made to stay in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, despite questions that I consistently ask myself and Church leaders. You might have heard about the pain and hurt I and my friends have felt because of the actions of members. You might have been invited to be a productive part of the conversation, offering your opinions and sharing your faith as well. But most importantly, you would have realized that someone at that table is seriously questioning their activity in the Church, and your actions have done more harm than good in that respect.

I'm not quite sure what you meant to accomplish by making me feel unloved, unwanted, and misunderstood. Do you want me to stay away from church activities? Because if that's the case, I can assure you, you have fueled a fire in me that makes me want to bust open the doors of every church building in America and hug all the misfits, the marginalized, and the questioning. I will continue to attend church in order for people like you to know that not only do I belong, but so does every. single. person. on this planet, if that's what they want.

I'd like to recommend the New Testament as some light reading. It's quite enjoyable, and if you apply some of the principles the main character taught I think you might come to value diversity and learn how to love. But what do I know, I'm just a returned missionary that doesn't talk like one.

Sincerely,

Me.

Ps. These are some members of the Church in one of the German cities I served in. They weren't active when I first met them, and they were too embarrassed to come to church for fear they wouldn't fit in. After meeting with them regularly, answering their hard questions (questions that I have had to ask many times) and sharing my limited faith, they decided to come back and work towards the blessings of the temple. I just wanted you to see the faces of some of the people I loved on my mission, people who told me they were "endlessly grateful" for helping them with their concerns and showing them that God loves them regardless of their past, present, or future.

Sharing hilarity.

I'm going to take a break from writing about heavy subjects that tear your soul apart and just brag about my family for a bit.

I have the best family in the world. And no, you cannot contest that. It's just the truth and you have to accept it.

I'd like to think I have an amusing sense of humor. I like to make people laugh and it's gotten me out of many a potentially awkward situation. I learned these skills, as most do, from my family. My mother, almost always smiling and lighting up the room with her bubbly personality, loves to make people feel welcome. This is most assuredly done through making people laugh. My father, less outgoing but surprisingly talkative when you get him on the right subjects, has a secretly dark sense of humor. My childhood memories of my daddy include, but are not limited to: learning to sing the "fart" song whenever beans were served with dinner, begging Dad to do the napkin face (he put a napkin on his face and stuck his tongue through it - why we loved it, I don't know), hearing our names being substituted for the evil people in the Bible and Book of Mormon whenever Dad read aloud to us, and staying up late to watch the show Max X. I've never heard my dad laugh so hard than when watching people get seriously hurt doing incredibly stupid things.

Needless to say, my siblings and I soaked in the influences of my parents - my mother's ability to target an individual's sense of humor and adapt the conversation to make them feel at ease, and my father's taste for somewhat indecent and justifiably hilarious things in life. It could easily be said that this combination has produced one of the most hilarious and awesome families ever to exist on the planet.

And so. I was emailing back and forth with my brother Mitch yesterday. I would like to share this conversation with you, mostly because a) I find it hilarious and I want to share it with the whole world and b) you need to understand how amazing my brother is.


WARNING: If you like Nascar and/or are from the South, this might offend you.



Me: I'm supposed to be looking up the top magazines for NASCAR fans for my job right now. WHO DEDICATES WHOLE MAGAZINES TO THIS STUFF.

Mitch: There's more than one magazine for NASCAR?? Wtf? It's probably pretty enlightening I guess. 
"I only get these NASCAR magazines for the.... articles..."

Me: I hate motor sports. They are so dumb. Seriously, how can this be one of the most popular sports in the world?

Mitch: Cause it's waay cool. Think about it- they go reaaaally fast. Also... beer.

Me: And the occasional boom boom. Nothing like a good car crash to make me want to drink more beer and love my life. 

Mitch: "WOW! It's so loud! Did you see tha- HEY, why doesn't my liver work?"

Me: "One beer for every lap!"

100 laps later...

"Uhhhsldnnskla;skjvienskladslkj!!!"

200 laps later...

Dead.

Mitch: I drink beer during nascar races because I don't get dizzy enough when I'm sober. 

Hey, wanna go shoot something afterwards?

Me: You mean dem hippies? Ja.

Mitch: Correction: Dam hippies. Dam mexicanos. Dam nigroes. 'member the confederation? Thems was good days.

Me: Them good days wen we had all dem der cotton. An now I cain't get up off dis dam porch. Dam yankees took all the moneys there wuz. 

Mitch: Slavry was a good thing two. It's in the Bible somewer.

Me: Yer got that right mister. Hey, pass the butter why don't ya? I ain't got enuf here on my butter cake.

Mitch: y'aint gonna deep fry that sucker first?

Me: I alredy done deep fried the butter and sugar befur I made the cake. And I put in dem friend pickles you like so much.

Mitch: thank'ya's'much darlin. you're the best fieansay/close relative I ever dun did have (toothless grin)

Me: I think nows the time to tell ya dat one of them chickens done peed on yur truck. Mind ya, I wus fit to be tied. But I cain't get that stain off. 

Mitch: S'aright. Times a'comin for a new 'n besides. i thnks i seed a new one at the junk'ard anyhows. Just give the yold'n to Jeheremihuh. Jethrow and I'll get the other'n after t'mar's nascar match

Me: I can't keep up with you. You're too good at this.

Mitch: Well you know... lots of practice. What else do you think we did at scout camp for 5 years?

You're welcome.

Lesson #54

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Meeting my dad.

This is for all those awesome people in my life who have yet to meet my father, most especially the man I perhaps might marry someday.

There are some things you need to know about Daddy. First of all, his name is Timothy but you could probably call him Mr. Young or Brother Young (it's a mormon thing). I don't know of anyone my age or younger that calls him Tim, though I don't think he would get mad at you for it. He's been mistaken as my older brother before, so don't let his good looks and absent gray hairs fool you. He exercises like a madman and puts all of his children to shame on that front. Most of all, his family is the most important thing in the entire world to him - never forget that.

There are several rules you must understand and follow before meeting Daddy.

#1 - He looks scary, but he's harmless. And when I say he looks scary, I just mean that he's really really tall and very buff and he isn't quick to smile (guess where I got that special trait from...!). I promise he wouldn't hurt a fly, so don't act scared around him. You might frighten him away.

#2 - Daddy doesn't really like being around a lot of people, so don't take his shyness or tendency to leave the room a bad sign. He's really getting better at this, so he might surprise you!

#3 - My daddy is probably the funniest person I know, but his hilarious outbursts of humor are sporadic. Don't be completely shocked when you see him dancing to some 90's music or trying to rap. Sometimes during dinner he'll randomly put a napkin on his face and stick his tongue out (it's kind of terrifying) or start singing the "bean song" about tooting. Family dinners are the best, just saying.

#4 - If you don't really know what subject to bring up, stick to things like running, fishing, family, etc. Don't ask about work, he's not a huge fan of it. And NEVER ask him science-related or church questions unless you want him to talk for hours and never stop. That's why I always allowed myself plenty of time for my dad to explain math problems to me in high school - there was no such thing as a short cut or an easy answer.

#5 - I love my daddy more than anything on the planet, and if for some reason he doesn't like you (which has hardly ever happened, trust me) then I won't like you either. Got it? Good.

Happy Father's Day to the best daddy in the world! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you!

Lesson #51

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Being a safe driver.

This is a lesson I can't joke around with or make fun of. I take this very seriously, as it as affected my personal life very deeply.

April was "Distracted Driving Awareness Month," so I missed that boat. Let's just call this a little late, yes?

Meet my awesome cousin Neil in 2008:

He was a senior in high school, ready to go to college, and one of the funniest people I knew. Seriously, I loved hanging out with him.

In January of 2009, Neil was driving back from a concert with his friend. He was sober and he wasn't texting, but he was driving too fast, which is something I am certainly guilty of. He hit some ice and his car spun around before hitting a tree.

Neil was so lucky that day, as you can see from this picture. However, he was life-flighted to a nearby hospital and was in a coma for awhile. He had to have several surgeries and LOTS of rehabilitation.

Meet Neil after months of surgery and therapy:

See that dent in the side of his head? That's where the doctor took out part of Neil's skull because his brain was swelling due to the trauma of the accident.

Neil has come a long way since then. He's gone through months and months of rehabilitation, relearning how to do simple things like walking and using his left hand (it was paralyzed). He's gone back to school and he volunteers with Alzheimer's patients. He was even on MTV's True Life! Watch the full episode here. It's awesome.

Recently, Neil was asked to be the keynote speaker at an awards ceremony for high schools that have been creating projects to promote safe teen driving. Please watch this video. His speech is amazing! And inspiring. Also, the script is written below if you want to better follow along.

Good morning. As you all know, car accidents are the primary cause of death and disability among adolescents. And here I am, in front of you, a specimen of these facts.

In the beginning of 2009, around midnight, I was driving home from a concert, sober, not texting, or on my phone, but I was going too fast. When I was about three miles from home, I somehow lost control and spun into a tree. The next thing I knew, it was months later and I didn’t know where I was. All I knew was that I was missing half my skull and my brain's gears weren't up to the task of understanding yet. I couldn’t walk, let alone speak.

Fast forward and here I am in front of you. These past two and a half years have been filled with nonstop therapy and school to recover as much of myself as possible. Time has stopped for me. I’m stuck in neutral. My friends have continued forward and left me in the dust. Before my accident, I had a large group of friends and I was constantly out with them. Now, my friends feel awkward, not knowing how to treat or act around me. Before the accident, I often went to concerts. Now, I have yet to go to one. Before the accident, I was constantly out seeing movies. Only recently have I been able to follow the story line of a full length film. Before the accident, I had a season pass to go snowboarding. This past winter, was the first time I was able to be on a board again trying to regain my skills. My processing speed is slower, my vision is not the same; neither is my balance. Before the accident I would be out with friends every weekend playing video games. I don’t have the dexterity to play them now. Before my accident, I was accepted into my first-choice college, but now I am just working to recover some of the skills that I lost; in high school of all places! My future may or may not include college.

Although my life has been changed dramatically, I have tried to make the best of my situation and have found positive experiences. For instance I'm glad I've had this opportunity to be involved with your program. Maybe my story will influence others to not make the same, or similar mistakes.

I am here today to tell you that the projects you have developed for this event will be helpful even if you only save one teen’s life from a car crash. It’s easy for us to tune out adults when they tell us to slow down, not text, or don’t drink and drive. But maybe teens will listen to you. Hopefully, your messages will open the eyes and ears of those who need them most, the teens of New Jersey, including your friends.

Thank you.

So. Meet my cousin Neil:

He's amazing. I'm so proud of him! And I can't wait to see him this summer :]

What I really wanted to say here is that I BEG of you to be careful out there. Neil was lucky. A lot of people aren't. I know we all speed and occasionally text or eat or whatever while driving, but please please PLEASE keep your eyes on the road. Slow down. Don't drive when you're sleepy. I love all of you too much.

Lesson #49

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Beyoncé.

Well first of all, I'm going to let you know that this is a "feminist" post. All you haters can stop reading now.

Also, before I dive into this, you should know that I love Beyoncé and her music (most of the time). I think she's awesome. So, that being said, sometimes I'm super confused by her messages. This goes for all the lovely women artists out there as well - I feel like you're creating a double-standard for women and girls.

People like Beyoncé and Lady Gaga go out of their way to say things like "be yourself!" and "love who you are!" but they send us this image:

or this one

or this one

or this one.

I'm sure the first thing that comes to your head when I put up pictures like these is something along the lines of, "I get your point, we've heard it a thousand times. They're creating an unrealistic standard for women and girls' bodies, etc." You're right. They are creating that ridiculous standard for women to become and for men to expect. But no, that's not the first thing that comes to my head.

I wonder if these women really do respect themselves. If the world didn't expect them to be sexy or skinny or tan or perfect, would they really pose practically naked for the whole world to see?

When I think of women I admire in this world, I could NEVER imagine them doing something like this. And they don't just tell girls to love themselves. They actually do respect and love themselves and their bodies, and make it a point to be modest in doing so. They expect men to treat them with respect and dignity, like a human being.

So. I'd like you to meet an alternative artist/role model. She's my new favorite singer. She's 23, British, and awesome. She writes AMAZING music.

Oh, and she's definitely bigger than a size 2. And I think she's practically perfect in every way.

Check out this music video. It's the best.

Love you guys.

ps. Did anyone see Beyoncé's new music video? Well, I have issues with it. I was going to explain all my frustrations, but this random girl did it for me. If you watch this, I'll give you a sucker.

2.) New blog layout.

Yes or no?

Lesson #44

Today's Lesson Objective today includes:

1.) Mothers.

Before I dive into today's thoughts, I'd just like to give a shout out to my mama.

She's pretty awesome, though we do have our differences. Over the years we've had some rough spots, but at the end of the day she's always there for me. I remember there would be days I'd come home from school so depressed and my mom would draw up a bath and let me eat graham crackers and chocolate frosting while soaking in bubbles. It was the best, not to mention the towel she would warm up in the dryer. It was heaven. We would stay up so late talking and laughing and by the morning I'd forget what I was so upset about. That's my mother.

Wanna know something else cool about my mother? She's a working mom. For as long as I can remember, my mom has had a job.

In church today, we listened to 3 people speak to the congregation - 2 women and 1 man. The women talked about the importance of mothers, how they've affected their life, etc. You know, typical mother things. The man, not to my surprise, decided to address mothers and their need to stay in the home and how bad it is for them to work because men are incapable of filling that need for the children.

Dear man who spoke in church: Kiss my butt.

Why is it that raising children has been seen as only a woman's duty? This makes me sick. It seems there's a huge emphasis on separating motherhood from fatherhood, but really they're under the same umbrella of parenthood. Hate to break it to you boys, but you have to raise your children too! I have faith that you can do it.

Motherhood shouldn't be different from fatherhood, in my opinion. Aside from my mother physically giving birth to me, the only reason she's different from my father is because her name is Suzanne and she's a very talkative, very bubbly person. My father, Timothy, is a very stoic and quiet person. Naturally, my relationships with these people are different. But they are both equally my parents because they were both very active in the process of raising me, even when they were both working.

I'd also like to note that you should NEVER judge mothers who work. You don't understand the circumstances that surround that, and it's none of your business. And just because she works doesn't mean she's less of a parent or that her family suffers because of it. I have a few inappropriate words for those who give mothers a hard time for working outside the home.

I salute all the mothers out there who are single or divorced or widowed or married. God knows you're probably doing the brunt of the work, and for that you deserve the best. It seems women don't have the luxury of choosing when to be parent, and they're always trying to fill the missing holes that other people leave behind. You guys are awesome, not just because you're parents, but because you're you. We love you.

Lesson #41

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Men.

So I'm going to make a plug for the lovely men in my life. I know, I know. So uncharacteristic of Lesa to be saying good things about men! Especially after my public announcement of Lesa's Life Lesson #5 and my "recent" proclaimed feminism.

I will debunk your theories with a.) I wrote that blogpost because Spandrew made me and b.) feminism loves men! They just don't like men that demean or insult or objectify or rape women. And stuff. I'll also have you know that I have a father (crazy) and 3 brothers, one of which is my favorite sibling. Some of my favorite professors are men. Oh ya, and I'm attracted to men. I'll probably marry one someday, if I can find someone who doesn't think I'm scary.

Anyway, I recently had a conversation with the lovely roommates about how men, particularly in a church setting, seem to really put themselves down. Somehow women are more kind, caring, loving, and certainly more spiritual, while men only think about sex. No, this isn't doctrine. But I feel that they really portray men as the ones who have to do all the work in a relationship and that women will have a hard time finding someone who deserves them.

Maybe this is the case for some, but it sure as hell isn't for the majority, and I really honestly mean that. Then again, I'm only speaking for the men who have graced my life with their presence, so maybe there really are some major dickheads out there. Well, who are we kidding. THERE DEFINITELY ARE. But I think most of the men in my life are amazing. I also happen to think they are waaaaay nicer and kinder and loving and DEFINITELY more spiritual. They are not better than me, but I feel a lot of the time that I don't deserve to be their sister or daughter or cousin or friend. Basically I'm glad they keep me around because we learn a lot from each other.

So men, please don't sell yourself short. You are smart enough to get into that grad school, you are good enough for that girl, you are talented enough for that job, and you are brave enough to raise a child. Don't get too into yourself though, because you are not SMARTER than others, you are not BETTER than that girl, you are not THE BEST IN THE WORLD at your job, and you're not going to be the MOST AMAZING parent in the world. We all make mistakes. You are human (and so are women, just so you know...). Just as long as you remember that then we are good.

Now for all the men I think are awesome in no particular order:

Nelson Mandela

Dalai Lama

Amartya Sen

J.M.Barrie

Abraham Lincoln

JESUS (duh)

My brother

My daddy (ps We were camping = I look gross)

ps. You guys did a freaking amazing job the other day with commenting! Keep it up because it makes me feel special. That's why I love you. Also. If you look up at the very tippy top of this page, there's a link called "Follow." Press it. PLEASE.

pss. Hahahahahahahahahaha