Lesson #36

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Grammar.

This is a fact: I am not attracted to people who use terrible grammar.

I'm sure any grammar guru would instantly call me a hypocrite because I am positive that the way I form sentences on my blog is not grammatically correct. That's just the way it rolls off my brain. So no, I am not a grammar nazi, but I do expect people to be able to tell the difference between there, they're, their and your, you're.

Just saying.

SO. Let me help you.

There: in or at that place, "They have lived there for years."

They're: contraction of they are, "They're very nice people."

Their: belonging to them, "Their dog is lovely."

Your: belonging to you, "Your hair is so shiny."

You're: contraction of you are, "You're the meanest person ever."

Now that we've covered the basic horrific grammar mistakes, let's talk about punctuation.

Punctuation, especially on the internet or in a text, adds a certain tone to a conversation or statement. When you add exclamation points after every sentence, you sound ridiculously excited or happy, even if you don't wish to convey a feeling of loving life. Here's an example:

Oh my gosh I am so mad at my mother! She is crazy! Sometimes she makes me pancakes when I want french toast! It drives me insane! I want some bacon right now! What I'm really trying to say is I have no idea why I love exclamation points because none of these sentences needed one!

Was the voice in your head a little girl with an extremely high voice? Ya, me too. So now we address the use of all caps. When I write sentences or parts of words in all capital letters, I am trying to convey a feeling of angst. That's what it sounds like in my head - someone screaming at me. So please don't write normal things in all caps. It's like someone is screaming:

I LOVE MY BIOLOGY CLASS IT IS GREAT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER. WHY ARE TEDDY BEARS ALWAYS BROWN? I GUESS BARNEY IS PURPLE, SO THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I REALLY NEED A HUG.

Why are you shouting these things at me? No need. The last point I'd like to make is the use of the 3 periods (...). It sounds like a creepy voice when I read it, and it especially drives me crazy after every sentence, especially when you should be putting a question mark at the end of a question. For example:

You guys are great...Can I come over....How was your weekend...You look really cute....I wish your mom was here...

...creepy.

ps. I am doing well, not good. Good is an adjective, well is an adverb. When you're describing an action, you use the word "well." You are a good person, and you are doing well in art. Got it? Good.