Lesson #35

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1. Annoying blog posts.

Confession: I am addicted to reading terrible blogs. There's this one that I find especially horrid about a girl who's 21 and divorced and she writes the most annoying things about her 2 week marriage. I'm sure you find me the meanest person in the whole world, and I probably am. I'm sure this girl is super nice and God loves her for sure. But why dedicate a whole blog to your irresponsible courtship and marriage when I'm sure it's not fun for you or for him?

Whatever.

The inspiration for my commentary comes from her latest post, which includes like 50 billion ways you can woo and romance her. Yuck.

This is what my brain thinks about it: WHAT THE HELL.

Why are you sitting on your butt for what I'm sure took you an hour writing about all the ways a guy can win your heart? a.) get a life b.) why does the guy have to do all the work?

To the lovely girl of the annoying blog,

DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR OWN DATING LIFE.

You are not (or shouldn't be) some helplessly romantic girl who needs to be saved by some manly dude who buys you flowers and makes you feel good about yourself for 2 seconds! If you can't become a strong person on your own, there is no way any man is going to make you happy. You make you happy. So stop writing blog posts about how a man should sweep you off your feet and LIVE A LIFE.

The end.

2.) I miss my cat.

Today my roommate subjected me to watching this awful movie clip from Fox and the Hound. I cried and cried and screamed at that terrible lady for being so mean. This of course lead me to this movie clip from Dumbo which basically makes me want to die a thousand times (after saving all the elephants in the world, of course). And don't worry, I eventually ended my youtube sad streak with the scene from Lion King where Simba finds his father dead.

Watching sad Disney scenes of animals reminds me of one thing always: my precious kitty. He's not really a kitty, he's definitely old. He doesn't have a name, so we just call him kitty except when my mom calls him a "little turd." He was my best friend for a long time.

I think the best thing about pets, more specifically cats and dogs, is that they always know when you're sad and they try to cheer you up. I remember when I was 16 and I came home crying because a boy was mean to me and my kitty jumped up on my bed and started licking my face and snuggling in my arms. It instantly made everything better.

This is a really pointless lesson. I just wanted you to know how much I miss kitty and need him right now.