Lesson #34

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) March Madness.

It's 12:30 am and I AM SICK OF DOING HOMEWORK.

So. I am going to talk about college basketball. Actually, it's just gonna be sports in general.

Good idea? Yes.

Ok. This is something everyone needs to know about me.

It's called "I pretend I don't know a lot about sports but I actually know more than everyone thinks I do." It's a little secret I like to keep, but it's late at night and all bets are off, which means after a certain time of night you can pretty much ask me anything and I'll tell you. But this secret is a freebie. Also, I'm pretty sure 2 people read my blog so I don't even care.

There are many reasons I know a lot about sports. The first and most important reason is 1.) I am from Nebraska. I'm pretty sure it's a rule that you have to know everything about football before you graduate from elementary school. Football is the biggest deal since the Constitution was signed, I'm pretty sure. Anyway, the point is that I grew up on Big Red game days and Superbowl Sundays, though I don't really like the NFL. And I know that any Nebraskans reading this that knew me pretty well would probably want to cut off my legs because I was actually an avid fan of pretty much ANYONE that was playing Nebraska. I just like to mix things up, ok? But I promise I've been converted and I wear my Husker pride every football season.

Reason 2.) Growing up with 3 brothers who all played sports, my dad who coached our sports teams, and all my manly friends from high school. They all think I never payed attention to them, but I know half of my hockey and rugby knowledge just from eavesdropping on sporty conversations. Ha. Also. My dad taught me the rules to pretty much every single sport that was invented. Except for cricket. But if you start watching a sport on tv at my apartment, I'll most likely be able to know exactly what is going on.

Reason 3.) I played sports! Oh yes, I was very into soccer until high school, then track and field. Then nothing. I do yoga now.

Reason 4.) I learned a lot about sports from betting on games. Mostly I'm talking about college basketball brackets, but I also bet pieces of candy while watching football games. I'm pretty hardcore. But seriously, I've done soooooo well on all my brackets every year since high school, and it's not just because I choose teams based on the color of their jerseys. I read ESPN at least once a week. So bring it, because I'm going to school all of you this year.

Reason 5.) My older brother and I were really into baseball and football cards when we were younger, and so in order not to totally get taken advantage of (Brent would try to trade me totally lame cards for my sweet ones) I had to read up on who I had cards of. Worked like a charm, and I still win for having Ken Griffey Jr.'s rookie card (if it was actually legit, I still don't know) and Joe Montana's "retirement" card, whatever that means.

Reason 6.) Famous people. I grew up knowing I was related to Steve Young, and therefore I needed to know everything about him, his college football career, and his time in the NFL. I heard about some French man hitting somebody with his head during a soccer game, so I obviously had to read up on that and figure out what it was all about, which lead to my basic knowledge in all European soccer teams and my inevitable crush on David Villa. I didn't really know anything about anyone in the NBA (except for Michael Jordan, OF COURSE) until Space Jame (best movie ever). And, of course, Jimmer Fredette. I had NO idea who he was until this year, and the word on the street is that he's a big deal. Who even knew?

This post is getting really long and I'm sick of telling you all the reasons I totally kick butt when it comes to blowing your mind about sports. No, I'm not that familiar with specific athletes, but I should get credit for being able to participate in intelligent conversation about athletics in general, especially American college sports.

Yet when it comes down to it, I'd rather be talking about things that actually matter in this world, like preventing infant mortality or finding the solution to world peace. But that's for another day.

Lesson learned:

I'm awesome. Aaaaaand I am doing freaking amazing on my March Madness bracket, in case you were wondering.

Check out this siiiiiiick footage of the head-butting Frenchman:

Apparently the Italian man said something about his mother? Hahahaha