Lesson #45

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Dating.

Ok. This is a secret post, meaning I probably won't tell anyone about it so if you happen to come across yay for you. It's also embarrassing for me so I'm probably going to delete soon. Ha.

Anyway, I'm sick and tired of getting comments like, "You're single? How is that possible? You're so cute!" and it's making me sick. Do you realize it's insulting? You're basically telling me that a) being attractive is all I really need to get a man and b) if I'm attractive and still single, there must be something wrong with me.

Well GUESS WHAT. There is something "wrong" with me, and it's called I have a LIFE.

For the benefit of my lovely mother and other members of my family [and friends] who think I should date more, I will explain the reasons I don't.

1. I have this weird obsession with the idea of being single and 30. Mom, don't have a heart attack when you read this.

2. I have ridiculously high standards. When I say that I mean I have very particular things that I look for in men, and if they don't possess it then I'm not interested. For example, they can't be scared of me. This is a little difficult. I also tend to dislike guys who open my car door for me. This all makes me seem snobbish, I know.

3. I'm very focused on my potential future, and I find that men can inhibit that. Not ok with me.

4. I don't touch people. According to my brother, this severely damages my prospects because apparently guys really like a girl who doesn't hug the other side of the couch while watching a movie. I can't help it, ok?! It's nothing against you.

5. Men who want relationships scare me...a little bit.

So there you have it. I should add an unofficial #6: I dream of hunky French men. And Asian men. Not a lot of those around here. Buuuuut that's beside the point. I don't date because I'm not interested in dating, and I haven't met anyone to convince me otherwise. Also, there is NO WAY anyone I date will be as lovely as Mr. Knightley. Jane Austen's characters have shattered my dreams of reality.