Lesson #43

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) You don't know what real love is.

I have a lot of pet peeves, but every time someone asks me what they are I can't name more than two. BUT. I thought of one while reading a blog. And this is how it goes:

I really really really HATE it when people are obsessed with something they know nothing about. For example, there are 50 million girls in America right now that have all sorts of jewelry or posters or lamp shades that depict the Eiffel Tower. You don't deserve to wear that sacred symbol! Worse than that, many of these people have rich parents that take them to France where they can spend all their money pretending they're French, when in fact they can't speak a lick of the language and they're obnoxious tourists that French people don't actually like!

Get it through your heads. Liking France and really appreciating it are two different things. You don't get to because you haven't spent three years of your life conjugating verbs in the subjunctive. So there.

Another one that I DESPISE are girls that are obsessed with "vintage" things. First of all girls, you have no idea what that word means. When you say the word "vintage" you are basically describing anything made before the 1990's and after the early 1800's. That's a freaking huge time period, in case you didn't know. Most girls like to pin it to the 1920's through the 60's, but each of those decades are known for different trends and styles in music, dress, and art. So you really can't group them into one word. Sorry to burst your bubble.

I guess a lot of these people feel like they're entitled because they have the money to go to France and buy "vintage" clothes, but you don't understand the true essence so TOO BAD. I win.

2.) Real love is in the form of Asian men.

Ok, sorry about my rant. I had to get that out. And for your cooperation, I will let you in a little secret that I've decided I'm not so ashamed of anymore: I am extremely attracted to Asian men.

I don't know why I've had this secret obsession, but I believe it all started when I first saw Cinderella with Brandy. You know the one I'm talking about? You can't miss it. Brandy (Cinderella) is black and her stepmother is white, yet one of her step-sisters is black and the other one is white. The queen is black and the king is white, and their son is Asian. It's awesome. Anyway, so I find that prince hunky and always have.

Yum.

So after that I was in love. I distinctly remember watching the 2000 Olympics in Australia and thinking the Japanese gymnasts were soooooo hot. It just went downhill from there.

Now you know my secret. I hope you liked it.

Lesson #42

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Everyone is terrified of me.

I have a best friend named Laura. Laura and I first [officially] met our junior year of high school in World Literature. However, we didn't become friends until our senior year in AP Literature because Laura was scared of me, and I thought she was mean.

From what I understand, Laura thought I was a "gothic emo girl who hated the world and everyone in it." That's not a direct quote, but I'd say it's pretty accurate. I'm pretty sure she just attributed this to the fact that I had really dark hair and I never talked to her. But I never talked to her because I thought she was mean!

The point is, it was all about MISCOMMUNICATION. Always.

I've heard recently about a lot of people who are terrified of me. I'm not sure why, but I give off this vibe of being the meanest person alive. That's only true depending on who you are and if you deserved it. Anyway, I feel like I'm not that mean or scary of a person, at least not once you get to know me. So I've decided to compile a list of all the reasons I probably scare people.

1 - I don't like smiling at people I don't know EVER, particularly in weird places. See post here for more details.

2 - My "resting" face is apparently a death look. And by "resting" face I mean the one I have when I'm sitting in the library not using my face muscles while I'm reading about women's education in India. Or the one when I'm just not doing anything at all. I've heard I give death threats through these looks, but I'm really not paying attention at all to my surroundings.

3 - Somebody has either pissed me off or been near me when someone/something else has. I'm not a happy camper when that happens, and, quite frankly, you should be scared of me.

4 - I handle grief very different from a lot of people. I curl up in a ball and sleep a lot, and if you try to talk to me I'll bite your ears off. I get very testy when people try to talk to me while I'm upset, and I feel bad because no body really knows how to handle it.

5 - I'm a democratic feminist who loves France.

Ok, so now you know all the reasons people perceive me as scary, you should know that my favorite color is pink and my favorite animals switch off everyday from pandas, walruses, elephants, and lorises. I cry while watching Fox and the Hound EVERY TIME. I also have lots of friends...I guess I consider this to be a sign that I'm not terrifying because multiple people enjoy my company.

So please don't be scared of me. Unless you've done something really mean to my family, which in that case you probably should be scared of me.

The end.

ps. My friend Amanda (see [a liberation broadcast] on the right -->) just gave me this lovely comic, and I'm pretty sure it's me. Refer back to #2 on the list.

Lesson #41

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Men.

So I'm going to make a plug for the lovely men in my life. I know, I know. So uncharacteristic of Lesa to be saying good things about men! Especially after my public announcement of Lesa's Life Lesson #5 and my "recent" proclaimed feminism.

I will debunk your theories with a.) I wrote that blogpost because Spandrew made me and b.) feminism loves men! They just don't like men that demean or insult or objectify or rape women. And stuff. I'll also have you know that I have a father (crazy) and 3 brothers, one of which is my favorite sibling. Some of my favorite professors are men. Oh ya, and I'm attracted to men. I'll probably marry one someday, if I can find someone who doesn't think I'm scary.

Anyway, I recently had a conversation with the lovely roommates about how men, particularly in a church setting, seem to really put themselves down. Somehow women are more kind, caring, loving, and certainly more spiritual, while men only think about sex. No, this isn't doctrine. But I feel that they really portray men as the ones who have to do all the work in a relationship and that women will have a hard time finding someone who deserves them.

Maybe this is the case for some, but it sure as hell isn't for the majority, and I really honestly mean that. Then again, I'm only speaking for the men who have graced my life with their presence, so maybe there really are some major dickheads out there. Well, who are we kidding. THERE DEFINITELY ARE. But I think most of the men in my life are amazing. I also happen to think they are waaaaay nicer and kinder and loving and DEFINITELY more spiritual. They are not better than me, but I feel a lot of the time that I don't deserve to be their sister or daughter or cousin or friend. Basically I'm glad they keep me around because we learn a lot from each other.

So men, please don't sell yourself short. You are smart enough to get into that grad school, you are good enough for that girl, you are talented enough for that job, and you are brave enough to raise a child. Don't get too into yourself though, because you are not SMARTER than others, you are not BETTER than that girl, you are not THE BEST IN THE WORLD at your job, and you're not going to be the MOST AMAZING parent in the world. We all make mistakes. You are human (and so are women, just so you know...). Just as long as you remember that then we are good.

Now for all the men I think are awesome in no particular order:

Nelson Mandela

Dalai Lama

Amartya Sen

J.M.Barrie

Abraham Lincoln

JESUS (duh)

My brother

My daddy (ps We were camping = I look gross)

ps. You guys did a freaking amazing job the other day with commenting! Keep it up because it makes me feel special. That's why I love you. Also. If you look up at the very tippy top of this page, there's a link called "Follow." Press it. PLEASE.

pss. Hahahahahahahahahaha

Lesson #40

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) I'm not taking finals.

Lies. I am. But I hate them. You know what I hate worse? My professors assigning 50 million page papers due on the day of your final. What is up with that?

Ok. In retaliation of this horrid week, I'm writing a new blog post. Ha.

I don't really have any new life lessons for the .2 people that read this blog, but I will introduce you to the things I am currently in love with.

#1 - Zachary Levi.

Woof. What a babe. I'm pretty sure the best thing about him is his radiating nerdiness. If you don't know who he is, he's on a show called Chuck and he's the voice of Flynn Rider on Tangled. And yes, that is his real singing voice. What a dream boat.

#2 - Feministing.

This is a blog of awesomeness. I hope you can guess from the title what it's all about, but trust me - this is the best thing I've come across in years. I don't necessarily agree with everything, generally they reflect my views pretty dang well. Ha.

#3 - Adele

Ooooooook. Adele is amazing. Did anyone else know this? Just listen to her voice!!! Aaaaah I would KILL to sing like that! Also. She sings live on all her music videos. Love love love love love love her.

#4 - Texting parents.

Just click the link. Do it. Love it. K thanks.

#5 - Haiti.

This is Akon. No, that's not his real name. I don't know his real name. All I know is that I called him Akon and he called me Beyonce. I miss this kid. I miss Haiti. I've been doing a lot of work for the organization I went with last year (click on the link) and I NEED to go back. If you want to come with me let me know!

Alright. This was a boring post. Sorry.

Lesson #39

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) I can't help it.

Confession time.

I think my feminist ways are taking over my blog. I'm sorry to anyone who hates reading about it, but TOO BAD.

I'm just going to rant for a second here about this article.

Apparently, athletes can beat girls up and it's ok, you're allowed to keep playing professional sports and make millions of dollars a year. We already knew it was true in the US, but now it's happening in Australia! Yay!

A "social justice advocate" said on his behalf, "'We can all get caught up in the emotional image of young men booting a young woman in the stomach to cause her to abort her baby, but these were two young people … she got pregnant, he was way out of his depth, and he did a really cruel and dumb thing. He was caught in the moment, and what he did was the equivalent of a young man putting a noose around his neck because his girlfriend tossed him out (Lesa chiming in here...please tell me how this metaphor makes sense). He has to be allowed to move forward and put his life together, and I think the ability of the NRL and the Warriors to take this young man in and help him do that is role modelling and something they should get credit for.'"

YES. You are great role models, NRL and Warriors! You have officially taught my future children that it is OK to kick around pregnant girls they knocked up because it was only a matter of getting CAUGHT IN THE FREAKING MOMENT.

You know what irresponsible things I do when I get "caught in the moment?" I EAT CHINESE FOOD THAT MAKES ME GASSY. Even better, I BUY LOTS OF CLOTHES I DON'T NEED.

I'm glad you feel remorse. I'm glad you spent 18 months in jail. But nothing excuses what you did. Now while that girl is raising a child on her own with emotional scars, you get to play sports again. Better yet, you get to continue making millions of dollars. You disgust me, Shaun. DISGUST. And so do you, NRL people and Warriors, whoever the hell you are!

So, the lesson here is:

a. Become an athlete

b. Blame all your troubles on "getting caught in the moment."

c. If you EVER touch a girl like that (or in any way harmful or inappropriate) I will hunt you down.

Lesson #38

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Documentaries.

So if you are acquainted with me in any social media forms, you would know that I've been watching a lot of documentaries lately, much to the dismay of my studies. I just can't help it. There are too many good [and awful] things to see and learn about and I MUCH prefer that to school.

I am making a list of all the documentaries you need to see before you die. Actually, watch them before the end of the year. Ok? Ok good. In no particular order:

War Dance

So freaking amazing. Seriously. I was really touched by this film.

God Grew Tired of Us

I saw this film in high school but recently watched it again with my brother. I forgot how heartbreakingly happy this film is. Also, it's hilarious.

America the Beautiful

This film pretty much reiterated everything I knew about America's obsession with beauty, but I still found the director's way of illustrating this fascinating. It really is a good and interesting film.

The Business of Being Born

I have recently had a strange desire to become a midwife, and this just pushed me to really consider it. SUCH a good take on the hospitals and maternal and childbirth care. I almost cried at all the births, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Very Young Girls

This movie made me sick, in an important way. Girls are coerced into prostitution at the average age of 13. It's disgusting. This was a really amazing film that followed girls on their journey to break away from "the life."

Any suggestions on other documentaries I should watch?

2. Believe me.

This is just my little rant for the day. It goes like this.

When you ask me about what "feminism" means and then proceed to insult me and disregard my evidence, I officially regard you as the statistic that inhibits change for women. When you refuse to look at what is going on around you and realize it's wrong, I get upset.

I know you think that women should be equal. I know you say you would vote for a woman president. I know you believe that sexual violence should stop. But guess what. YOU ARE NOT THE MAJORITY. So PLEASE stop thinking that all men think like you and therefore patriarchy or oppression doesn't exist! The majority don't, or else women would have stopped being raped or trafficked or beaten. It also offends me when I bring up things like this and you refuse to believe me.

I feel like my voice is getting lost in someone else's screams.

ps. I don't care what you think, it is NEVER a girl's/woman's fault that she has been raped. I should have slapped you for that.

Lesson #37

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Faith.

Everything I'm about to write right now is word vomit, just so you know. I'm sitting in the library and I've only accomplished one tiny ounce of the massive pile of homework I have. Don't worry, I'll probably stay up all night. Love when that happens.

So. I watched a movie recommended to me by a friend called Creation. It's about Charles Darwin and his internal debates with publishing his famous book "Origin of Species" and about his crumbling marriage with his wife right after his daughter dies. Anyway, I think this movie goes much much deeper than just religion vs. science, though that is obviously addressed as his wife is a devout Christian.

What I'm trying to get at is this really strange quote that's been haunting me ever since the doctor's character in the movie said it. Basically what happens is Charles gets really ill, both physically but especially mentally, and he ends up seeking help from a doctor. So they're both sitting down and for the first time (that the audience is aware of) Charles is talking about things that have been on his mind, like the fact that he sees and talks to his dead daughter. He talks about how his wife turned to religion for her comfort and he is still lost because he thinks she's gone forever. Then the doctor says,

"You say you take no comfort from religion, but do you have faith?"

To be honest, I have no idea what this means. Maybe Charles didn't either. Perhaps he meant to ask if Charles has faith in his own convictions. Perhaps he meant to ask if Charles had faith in anything at all. I don't know. This is going to bother me all night.

I find it interesting how everyone handles grief and hardship. I shy away from everyone and sleep a lot. My brother tries to fix everything. My friend eats a lot. I know people who pretend it never happened, people who cry, people who scream, people who try to forget it by losing themselves in service. Most people I know also turn to their faith. They believe that if they put their trust in God everything will work out for the best. And it usually does.

My theory is that after their daughter's death, Charles was perhaps jealous of his wife's faith. Perhaps he was jealous that she turned to a God who had all the answers, whereas he felt he had to believe that there was no God and no afterlife and no more Annie. Maybe he was right, perhaps we're just a part of nature - we're born, we live, we die, and if we're lucky we leave offspring strong enough to survive. But what kind of existence is that? I feel like there has to be more to just living and dying, or else my life loses purpose.

Those are my thoughts at this late hour.

Told you it was word vomit. More like mind vomit, I suppose.

ps. I love monkeys.