Lesson #27

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1. Books.

I love books with all my heart.

Whenever anyone asks me what I like to do, the first thing I always say is reading. I could read [with periodic naps] all day every day for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I am in school and so I never get to read as much as I would like, but it never stops me from reading at least one book a semester. And, of course, I devour books during the summer.

I decided I wanted to share the top 10 books everyone on earth should read. These are not necessarily my absolute favorites, as I tend to enjoy thick and difficult books. All of these books/authors, however, remain near and dear to my heart.

In no particular order:

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

Warning: the language in this book is a little hard to read. You kind of have to talk out loud to yourself because she writes phonetically. However, I really admire Zora and have always enjoyed her work. She was one of the shining authors of the Harlem Renaissance, and for a good reason. This book is superb. Then again, I've always loved books with strong female leads - take this into consideration when asking me for recommendations.

Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie

This book is as magical as any movie adaptation you have happened to see. If you're looking for a really good, quick read I highly suggest this one. How Barrie thought of it all, I will never know.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

My grandma once begged me to read this book and, reluctantly, I did. I cannot believe how much I loved this book. The way Betty draws you into these characters and makes you so emotionally involved is thrilling. Really. Read it.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

I know, I know. You probably don't like Jane. You might detest the movies based on her stories or think all her books are about love. Well, you're wrong. If you've ever read Jane's books, they are not as romantic as you think. They are actually quite satirical and very critical of the way women are treated in her society. Also, you've probably never even heard of Persuasion, so please read it. It might just be my favorite one of her books.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

I'm sure you all love the movie. Well, guess what. The book is better. Always. But seriously, this book is HILARIOUS and the movie left out half the story. If you're looking for a good laugh and an easy read, this is the ticket.

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck

I might be the only person on the planet who absolutely loved this book, but I don't care. I thought it was amazing. There is something about the way Pearl writes that makes me never want to put the book down. If you're feeling up to the challenge, I really suggest this book (it's the first of a series, if you're feeling adventurous).

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

Though these books aren't really of any literary merit, this series is one of the more addicting stories ever written. If you're looking for something that could be easily finished in a week or less, this is the series for you. Be careful - it's kind of graphic.

Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns

Growing up my mom always told me this was her favorite book. It wasn't until high school that I actually read it. It was excellent and a really interesting story. I really don't think you'll be disappointed if you take the time to check it out.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

I don't think anyone in America was allowed to graduate middle school without reading this book, but I highly suggest reading it again. It's a classic but genuinely good. Also, it's pretty short so that's always a plus.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Confession: I haven't finished this book yet. I'm actually currently reading it and I'm about halfway through. It's amazing and so addicting. It's pretty thick, so beware. But it is so worth it. I'm pretty sure even when I get to the end I will still be the biggest fan ever.

I had a really hard time making this list, but I hope it gets you started on your reading adventures.

What are your top 10 books that everyone should read?

Lesson #26

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1. Women.

That's right. I'm stepping on the feminist soap box.

Let me tell you something about the culture I live in. It mostly consists of women (at the age of 19) and men (at the age of 22) getting married and having lots of babies and living happily ever after in their little 1950's world. So naturally, this being our most important objective in life, a university is created to facilitate the process of getting these young folks together in one place so they can meet and fall in love.

You can disagree with me (a lot of people do), but it's basically created an environment of everyone sizing each other up as their eternal mate. I feel like guys have some sort of a checklist they carry around and if you say one thing wrong like "I actually really like gay people" they immediately cross you off of their list. Fine by me, you homophobic.

SO. Me, being more of the independent/"I want to have a career"/I'm a democrat type, I've been crossed off of several lists. Or maybe all of them. Do I care? Hell no.

I have a problem with the system. I have a problem with these expectations and stereotypes I'm expected to fill. Doesn't anyone else? I think this sort of life is wonderful for people who really do want to live that way. I just wonder how many people out there feel obligated more than they feel the actual desire.

At least there's me, one of the misfits. So I would like every boy on this earth to know that saying,

"You are so lucky you're a woman. You can major in whatever you want because you'll get married,"

IS NOT OK. And the last boy that said that to me got a talkin'-to.

I AM A WOMAN. I have hopes and dreams and goals that I will achieve because I want to! No man and no religion will EVER pressure me into filling societal roles and expectations. If I get married it will be because I WANT TO GET MARRIED. If I have children it will be because I WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. And damnit, if I want to stay at home instead of work then it will be because I WANT TO.

For the record, boys, I hate Sarah Palin. I want to have a career and change the world. Oh, and I don't want to live in America because it's a little too capitalist for me. So please do me the favor and check me off of your lists right now. I'd rather just be your friend anyway.

Lesson #25

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1. Gratitude.

Since it is the month of our blessed holiday of eating unholy amounts of food, and I probably won't blog for a while, I decided it would be appropriate to write about gratitude.

Recently I volunteered at a fundraiser for Sustain Haiti, the group I went with to Haiti (obviously). One woman started asking me a lot of questions about what we did, how our projects are doing, etc. Then she asked me a weird question.

"With all you saw in Haiti, the way people lived and such, did you come back to the United States thinking 'I have too much stuff! I need to live more simply!'?"

My response? "No."

She was quite taken aback. This response doesn't surprise me too much. That's what people are supposed to feel, right? After seeing people living in filth, barely able to feed their kids (let alone seek medical care when they're sick), I should feel guilty about how I live in the States, right?

Nope.

Of course I am more grateful for what I have. Clean tap water had never seemed more precious to me and I loved that I could turn on all the lights in my house if I wanted to. But no, I don't feel guilty for the things I've been blessed with. Of course, this is all within boundaries. I'm not one to frivolously spend money on unnecessary luxuries. I'm just as poor as the next college kid. But I'm sorry, I'm not going to waste the resources living in this country has blessed me with. I will live in a house with running water and electricity. I will eat lots of junk food when I'm depressed. I will use a computer and have an ipod and a cell phone. I will go to the doctor when I'm sick. And my someday family will have these things too.

I don't know why I was randomly selected to be born where I was or to be raised in the family I have. I am ridiculously lucky and I know that. And for this reason I will not sit around idly. I will use my good fortunes to bring good fortunes to others. That's it.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember to think about those less fortunate this holiday season.

Lesson #24

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1. Beauty.

I learned in my anthropology class a bajillion years ago that the idea of beauty is universal. Every culture has their own idea of what makes you beautiful and people take great care to adhere to these customs.

What I want to know is who the HECK made up the rules?

I'd like to hold someone responsible for making me wear makeup, dress in clothes that show off my curves, curl my hair, and shave my legs.

Now, I'm sure some of you are going to pull a "well you don't HAVE to." That is where you are wrong. No, no one is physically forcing me to curl my eyelashes. But I have this subconscious idea that is embedded into my DNA that I have to do what is expected of me to feel worth. If people don't find me attractive, then I'm not. I wish I was strong enough to not care, but I do realize that society is based on this idea. If I want a job, I have to look appropriate. If I want people to treat me with respect, I'm much more likely to receive it if I don't show up in a sweatshirt and unshaved legs.

As living proof of this, just look at my college dating experiences. Before wearing makeup = 2 dates over 2 years. After starting to wear makeup = ...more dates...maybe 10...over a 10 month period. I know, I'm a loser even with makeup. But come on! Don't guys appreciate girls that are comfortable with their natural selves?

I'm done. Watch this.

Lesson #23

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Group projects.

Let's just cut to the chase and admit that group projects are the worst thing ever invented. You would think that in college they would a little bit easier to coordinate, but it is a lie. I feel like it's worse in college.

In high school, the smart people to idiot ratio was ridiculous - it had to have been 3 idiots to every semi-intelligent person. It always seemed like I was doing a project all by myself and putting everyone's names on it. But in college we're all supposed to be smart. Now it's a ration of 3 lazy people to every person who actually cares.

I understand that group projects are supposed to help us prepare for the real world because that's what we'll mostly be doing in our future careers. Yet I think professors are forgetting something...IF I AM GETTING PAID TO DO SOMETHING, OF COURSE I'M GOING TO COOPERATE WITH A GROUP. In college, some people could care less about their grade, thus jeopardizing the group and their grades.

Please just let us pick our own group. Please.


2.) First dates.

Let's just say it.

First dates suck.

And first dates especially suck in the LDS culture.

Here's a breakdown of how it happens:

Step #1: He asks her out.
He notices her. He tries talking to her. He fails multiple times. He finally succeeds. He waits until the tenth time he's talked to her to finally ask her out. Or ask for her number. If the latter, he takes him much longer to finally work up the nerve to ask her out.

Step #2: Thinking of the activity.
This one is tricky. He doesn't want to pick something lame but he can't bring out the big guns yet. Oh no, that's for the second date. He contemplates a group date, but really he just wants to be with her. He finally settles on bowling and frozen yogurt - always a safe choice, he thinks.

Step #3: Picking her up.
This can be made awkward by several situations. He has a hard time figuring out where she lives. He walks in to only have to spend two minutes with her scary roommates who won't stop staring while his date finishes getting ready. This of course includes him practically hugging the door, half in and half out of the apartment. When his date comes out, he chooses not to comment on her dress but really to just start running away.

Step #4: Judging/activity.
The next 3 hours is spent asking questions, telling jokes, and starting to get to know the date. This is also what we call torture. Another term, more commonly used, is judging. 3 hours of judging. This is especially in evident in LDS culture. All that's going through his mind is, "Can I spend the rest of eternity with her?" With their potential marriage on the line, 95% of girls won't make it to the second date.

Step #5: The drop off.
This is the most crucial part of the whole experience. It is in this moment that he will find out if she wants some more. He walks her to the door, making weird small talk, and finally arrives at the destination. This is it. They both acknowledge that they had a great time. Hug. She leaves.

Step #6: Analyzing.
Now he will spend the next 2 days analyzing what had happened. "Did I have a good time? Should I ask her out again? She did say she wanted a big family... Was she interested?" And then, of course, he will probably chicken out. Thus the cycle starts again with the girl he sits next to in spanish class.

Lesson #22

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) My [informal] complaint letter to the makers of Frosted Mini Spooners.

Dear creators of Frosted Mini Spooners,

I love your cereal. I really do. I actually prefer it to the name brand, so consider that a complement. BUTTTT....

I really feel that you should take better care to frost ALL of the mini spooners. And when I say frost I mean really frost it. Frost it like you frost your grandmother's Christmas cookies. Frost it like Frosty the Snowman frosts his tiny town. Ok, I'm sorry for setting the record on the number of times "frost" has been used in a letter and also for all the Christmas references, but I'm being serious.

I must tell you my utter dislike for mini spooners that aren't covered in sugar. It's basically a mouth full of wheat. In fact, it IS a mouth full of wheat. I don't know about you guys, but when I was young my mother, in order to punish us for saying bad words, used to shove handfuls of wheat in my mouth. No, not soap - that was too traditional. Wheat. So, while trying to enjoy your product, you are making me have terrible flashbacks to the times when I sinned, therefore undoing all of Jesus's work to help me get over it.

Yes, I'm comparing you guys to the devil. So please, frost those spooners.

Sincerely,

Lesa

ps. I'm lying about the wheat-in-the-mouth thing.
pss. I take back the apology about Christmas.

Lesson #21

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) The 3rd wheel.

I think that's my official title. The 3rd wheel. The extra girl that never has a date but we'll bring her along because she amuses us.

What I really want to get at here is that there is nothing wrong with being the 3rd wheel as long as the couple is behaving themselves. So here are some ground rules I think these couples need to go over before inviting a friend to join them:

a. Don't be affectionate. I'm pretty sure there's nothing worse than sitting across the table from your friends watching them snuggle and kiss and hold hands. This will bring up one of two thoughts, namely "Wow, I am a loser. Why the heck am I incapable of securing a date for the evening?" or more common for me, "Do I look like that when I'm kissing? Sick." But usually it just turns into, "I'd rather be doing homework."

b. Be actively engaged in conversation WITH THE 3RD WHEEL. It's soooo annoying when the couple has their own side conversation, leaving the 3rd wheel to feel completely and hopelessly awkward.

c. If the 3rd wheel has volunteered to drive, don't you dare sit in the back with your lover. Doing so has subjected your friend to feel like the chauffeur, thus contributing to the dislike of being around you two.

I would say the most important rule would be...

d. Don't invite a third person.

The end.