Lesson #23

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Group projects.

Let's just cut to the chase and admit that group projects are the worst thing ever invented. You would think that in college they would a little bit easier to coordinate, but it is a lie. I feel like it's worse in college.

In high school, the smart people to idiot ratio was ridiculous - it had to have been 3 idiots to every semi-intelligent person. It always seemed like I was doing a project all by myself and putting everyone's names on it. But in college we're all supposed to be smart. Now it's a ration of 3 lazy people to every person who actually cares.

I understand that group projects are supposed to help us prepare for the real world because that's what we'll mostly be doing in our future careers. Yet I think professors are forgetting something...IF I AM GETTING PAID TO DO SOMETHING, OF COURSE I'M GOING TO COOPERATE WITH A GROUP. In college, some people could care less about their grade, thus jeopardizing the group and their grades.

Please just let us pick our own group. Please.


2.) First dates.

Let's just say it.

First dates suck.

And first dates especially suck in the LDS culture.

Here's a breakdown of how it happens:

Step #1: He asks her out.
He notices her. He tries talking to her. He fails multiple times. He finally succeeds. He waits until the tenth time he's talked to her to finally ask her out. Or ask for her number. If the latter, he takes him much longer to finally work up the nerve to ask her out.

Step #2: Thinking of the activity.
This one is tricky. He doesn't want to pick something lame but he can't bring out the big guns yet. Oh no, that's for the second date. He contemplates a group date, but really he just wants to be with her. He finally settles on bowling and frozen yogurt - always a safe choice, he thinks.

Step #3: Picking her up.
This can be made awkward by several situations. He has a hard time figuring out where she lives. He walks in to only have to spend two minutes with her scary roommates who won't stop staring while his date finishes getting ready. This of course includes him practically hugging the door, half in and half out of the apartment. When his date comes out, he chooses not to comment on her dress but really to just start running away.

Step #4: Judging/activity.
The next 3 hours is spent asking questions, telling jokes, and starting to get to know the date. This is also what we call torture. Another term, more commonly used, is judging. 3 hours of judging. This is especially in evident in LDS culture. All that's going through his mind is, "Can I spend the rest of eternity with her?" With their potential marriage on the line, 95% of girls won't make it to the second date.

Step #5: The drop off.
This is the most crucial part of the whole experience. It is in this moment that he will find out if she wants some more. He walks her to the door, making weird small talk, and finally arrives at the destination. This is it. They both acknowledge that they had a great time. Hug. She leaves.

Step #6: Analyzing.
Now he will spend the next 2 days analyzing what had happened. "Did I have a good time? Should I ask her out again? She did say she wanted a big family... Was she interested?" And then, of course, he will probably chicken out. Thus the cycle starts again with the girl he sits next to in spanish class.