Lesson #20

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.)Dying your hair.

I've been dying my hair since I was 16. Actually, that would be a lie if you consider the occasional highlights I would get before the age of 16. In any case, dying my hair is one of my favorite things to do even if it means my hair will fall out by the time I'm 30.

Let's go through my many transformations:

Age 16, right before the big change.


It's kinda hard to tell, but my natural color is dirty blonde. And no, I do not dye my eyebrows.


Age 16


I'm quite aware that I am not 16 in this picture, but this was the color of my hair when I first dyed it. My boyfriend had recently broken up with me, and part of my coping therapy was dying my hair. It was Hannah's idea and my mom cried when she saw me the next day. She really liked my blonde hair and I have no idea why.

Age 17-19


I decided to go blonde-ish again, mostly because I was super lazy and didn't want to have to deal with dying it all the time. Half way through my freshman year of college I decided to go a little darker again. But then...



Age 19-present


BAM! I decided to go red. I had no idea if I could pull it off but I was super bored.




I guess the reason I'm even bothering with this post is because recently a boy commented that he isn't attracted to girls that dye their hair because he likes girls who appreciate what God has already given them.

...I have something I'd like to say to you, boywhomustnotbenamed.

Firstly, I hate to bring it up, but you were attracted to me before you found out I've been dying my hair for quite some time. You know why? BECAUSE I LOOK FREAKING GOOD. Secondly, I would LOVE for you to find a girl in America who has never dyed her hair, never plans on dying her hair, or has never considered it. This includes ANY sort of coloring - according to you, it's unnatural and not a good quality for a woman to have. Thirdly, what is so wrong with a girl wanting to feel beautiful? If I feel more confident and sexy walking out my door with brown hair as opposed to blonde, gosh darn it I'm going to do it!

Last but not least, change is the best therapy. Or at least welcomed change. I think guys underestimate what a new outfit or a new haircut or new makeup does for a girl's self-esteem.

To be honest, I don't know why I'm doing this post because I don't have to freaking explain myself to this loser.

SO, the lessons to be learned are:
a. Love yourself.
b. If you have never dyed your hair, I highly suggest trying it.
c. Boys who wouldn't date you because of your hair are not worth your time.

Lesson #19

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.)Kids.

I guess being a woman somehow gives people the assumption that I'm a kid-person. It makes sense I guess, since [most] women tend to be more loving, gentle, kind, and nurturing...then there's me. Don't get me wrong, I think kids are great, but they're not necessarily my cup of tea. I'm positive that this piece of information will surprise lots of people, since I've spread the word that I want a big family (which is as true now as it ever was).

To be honest, I prefer kids before the age of 2 and after the age of 13. Babies are great. They can't talk and they're easy to entertain. And they're adorable! Teenagers, however stupid they can be, are people I really like spending time with. I remember all of those people that helped me when I was young and whiny and they have truly shaped who I am today. It really means a lot to me to be a good influence in the lives of struggling teens.

Well, my mother decided to help me out and get me a job for part of the summer. I guess she thought she was helping me out but really it's torture. Yes, I watch little brats all day. The best part is, they are all between the ages of 5 and 13! Perfect. They love hanging on me. Like literally, clinging onto me for dear life. I hate being touched by anyone, let alone dirty children. All the girls like to grab my hair and immediately start tugging or braiding or stroking it. I'm scared I'll find peanut butter in it one of these days. The worst part is, they all seem to love me but they have a very hard time following directions. No wonder I got this job so easy.

Among all the little people (there's over 100), there are only 3 kids I like.

Kid #1: He is adorable. He is always smiling and reciting his multiplication tables and telling me about the solar system. He told me he wants to be a movie director, paleontologist, and a computer scientist. We were playing a card game and I was losing so he kept giving me some of his cards saying, "you deserve it!". Yesterday he asked me why I'm so pretty all the time. I've never felt more special in my life.

Kid #2: He is such a trouble-maker, but I guess that's why I like him. It's always interesting with him around. He knows he's cute and uses it. But secretly he's a really good boy. I sat and talked with him for awhile and he is quite hilarious. Also he stinks at staring contests, but he's always challenging me to them. I love it.

Kid #3: She is one of the older kids, so I definitely get along with her much more easily. We've had several discussions about Harry Potter and Twilight and she feels that I understand her more than the other counselors because we're both so nerdy. She really reminds me of myself when I was young - she doesn't socialize with the other kids and she's always off to the side reading. We are misfits for life.

I seriously can't wait until this job is over. Does anyone have any suggestions for me as far as surviving these next couple of weeks?

Lesson #18

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Mumblers.

One of the many frustrating things in this world for me is mumbling - I just can't stand people who don't know how to open their mouth wide enough to let real words come out. Maybe it's because I have such a big mouth and I constantly use my "outside voice", but am I really crazy for demanding people to speak more clearly?

Here is an example conversation (based on a real one):

Me: Hey! How is it going? I haven't see you in ages.

Mumbler: Oh, I'm good. You?

Me: Perfect. What have you been up to lately?

Mumbler: Well, not too much...asdlkfjweknfasd;lierfnalskvjnde;ginwjkdjnslkgjad;lkfnsdlckjdfvnefklsdkja;dlfjkasdflkj.

Me: ...mmk it was nice seeing ya!

These conversations only get worse when you're forced to talk to chronic mumblers over the phone. I feel like I'm constantly saying "What? I can't understand you. Try opening your mouth and talking into the phone. I can't make out your throat noises." What really sucks is that everyday I have to speak to a mumbler in French. Yet not only is he a mumbler, but he has a Creole accent on top of his Quebecois French accent. No, I can never understand what he says. Yes, I do avoid him at all costs. I could go on and on with this subject but let's get to the point:

a. Learn to speak.
b. Try increasing the volume.
c. Don't EVER talk to people on the phone.

Lesson #17

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Hideous blog layouts.

Yes, I know the layout for my blog is totally gay. I have no idea how to fix it, so until someone shows me you're going to have to read my [mostly] sarcastic commentary with an extremely girly and possibly immature background.

2.) Teachers that can make or break a class your education.

I am currently studying the french language. No, I am not fluent. Yes, I do suck at it. HOWEVER, I love it. It's a curse really, loving something you're not very good at. C'est la vie, n'est pas? I've unfortunately had the opportunity to speak with two of my french professors in the past 4 months that have each asked me if there is another major more suitable to my strengths. It really hurts having people, especially professionals in the field, not believe that you can do it.

These wonderful encounters with each of the professors reminded me of a most beloved choir teacher in high school. Not only did she personally not like me, but she made it clear that she didn't believe that I had what it took to excel in music. I kept trying to tell myself not to listen, but her attitude towards me affected me deeply. It didn't matter that I had sang in prestigious choirs or that I received extremely high scores from judges at competitions - she didn't believe in me, and I in turn couldn't believe in myself. Since then, I have regrettably given up on my music and the dream of singing professionally. I continue to sing, but mostly in the kitchen while I cook.

When I fell in love with french, I was super nervous because it isn't something that comes as easily to me as music does. So to have not one but two professors, on top of my apprehensions, tell me that I should study something different was really not the best thing for me. It was then that I thought back on what had happened to me a few short years ago and I realized something - I can do it. I should do it. And yes, I will do it.

So suck it Mrs. N. Je ne vous ai pas besoin.

I'm gonna learn the freaking language. Once this is accomplished I'm going to change the world. After that I am going to write a book about my experiences and I will dedicate it to those who didn't believe in me - without you guys, I would never have pushed myself so hard to be where I am today.

Lesson #16

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) 16 things that make me happy.

I, like so many other people in this world, am not a naturally happy person. I don't smile unless there is a good reason to, I don't laugh unless I feel it's necessary, and I have rarely felt that sunny warmth of happiness when I am alone.

I was inspired by Katie Sokoler's blog to create this entry. She's always blogging about these really fun, cute things that always brighten my day. I rely on so many different things in my life to get me through the day, and I thought that sharing them might help others who are looking for a little ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

16 THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY:

my faith

my family

my friends

daisies

lazy Sundays

singing at the top of my lungs in the car

a really good book

bacon

pretty umbrellas on rainy days

wearing pretty dresses

music

peeing in the shower

french

taking naps

watching old movies while eating ice cream

Nebraska thunderstorms

(my heaven)

What makes you happy?

Lesson #15

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Dementors.

For all of you avid Harry Potter fans, I thought I would make reference to dementors. It's only appropriate to speak of these happiness-sucking, depression-causing creatures during finals week. Let's sum it up in 5 words:

Finals are synonymous with dementors.

While procrastinating my studying yesterday, I came across a clip from the movie Invictus with Morgan Freeman (who looks EXACTLY like Nelson Mandela. Like they're twins.). In this particular snippet from the movie, Mr. Mandela was reciting a poem that helped him survive incarceration. The name of this poem, coincidentally, is called "Invictus." It goes as follows:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

This of course inspired me to write words of encouragement to all my fellow college students. Ready?:

You can do it!

Yay for getting good grades!

Just kidding! Passing is good too!

Just because you failed doesn't mean you fail at life!

Exclamation points should always make you feel better!

It's ok, Jesus loves you.

And gosh darn it guys, you are the captain of your soul! So don't you dare forget to use the Petronus charm to finish your finals and save your soul.


ps. I'm sorry to all of the BYU students who have taken their finals already. I know without my words of encouragement you most likely failed and have no soul anymore. That's ok. Jesus still loves you.

Lesson #14

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Blasphemous professors.

I was fortunate enough to take a class from a very confused old man during the last few months. It really has been quite the adventure. Somewhere between him claiming that he was really supposed to have been born in 1872 in Germany because of a dream he had and his moving stories about throwing sticks before he hurt his knee, I was struck with an idea - I need to have a dream explaining why I prefer nature to modern (and distasteful) industrial life. I mean, if his dream explained why he felt like he never fit in with technology and why he prefers wearing wool vests with wooden buttons, then surely God would give me a dream to explain why I love nature and soaking up the sun for hours and lathering mud all over my feet!

So, of course, I did dream about how I was supposed to have been born a tree in 1753 in Canada. I guess the angel with the list (who may or may not have been my roommate) forgot about me and the only place that was left for my spirit was in the body of a girl born in 1990 in the US. She had to live in Nebraska, which is the reject of all the states, but the angel promised me that there would be lots of trees so I would feel at home. I jolted awake from my dream [that happened to take place while I was fully conscious] and I ran around for joy. Finally! My strange tendencies to roll around in mud and turn green were explained! I was supposed to be a tree!

Thank goodness my professor was able to open my eyes and help me to realize my true potential. For our last class together today, he dressed up as the man he was supposed to be (authentic wardrobe and everything) and was able to be "in his element," as he put it. He inspired me to do the same - tomorrow I am going to stand in the park, drink water through my feet (not as easy as it looks), and photosynthesize. I encourage all of you to find your real self by dreaming about who you were really supposed to come to earth as and chase your dreams, just like me and my professor. Don't forget to share your special revelation with everyone you know and even those you don't!