Lesson #14

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Blasphemous professors.

I was fortunate enough to take a class from a very confused old man during the last few months. It really has been quite the adventure. Somewhere between him claiming that he was really supposed to have been born in 1872 in Germany because of a dream he had and his moving stories about throwing sticks before he hurt his knee, I was struck with an idea - I need to have a dream explaining why I prefer nature to modern (and distasteful) industrial life. I mean, if his dream explained why he felt like he never fit in with technology and why he prefers wearing wool vests with wooden buttons, then surely God would give me a dream to explain why I love nature and soaking up the sun for hours and lathering mud all over my feet!

So, of course, I did dream about how I was supposed to have been born a tree in 1753 in Canada. I guess the angel with the list (who may or may not have been my roommate) forgot about me and the only place that was left for my spirit was in the body of a girl born in 1990 in the US. She had to live in Nebraska, which is the reject of all the states, but the angel promised me that there would be lots of trees so I would feel at home. I jolted awake from my dream [that happened to take place while I was fully conscious] and I ran around for joy. Finally! My strange tendencies to roll around in mud and turn green were explained! I was supposed to be a tree!

Thank goodness my professor was able to open my eyes and help me to realize my true potential. For our last class together today, he dressed up as the man he was supposed to be (authentic wardrobe and everything) and was able to be "in his element," as he put it. He inspired me to do the same - tomorrow I am going to stand in the park, drink water through my feet (not as easy as it looks), and photosynthesize. I encourage all of you to find your real self by dreaming about who you were really supposed to come to earth as and chase your dreams, just like me and my professor. Don't forget to share your special revelation with everyone you know and even those you don't!