SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Peeps.

Listen up.

I have a deep dark secret that has been leaked, so I'm just going to announce it to the whole world right this second. I've been fighting this for awhile, but I am finally [in the process of] humbling myself.

I've had what my some of my lovely friends call a "coming to Jesus" moment. Except my moment was on crack because I've decided to do something crazy.

I'm going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I wasn't going to tell a lot of people until I got my papers in (which is like a week away), but too many people know now so everyone might as well be on the same page.

Let me answer some frequently asked questions:

#1. I thought you were going to France?!!?!

Yes, I was. I didn't lie about that. Buuuut the tables turned a little bit and I decided to put in my papers instead. Hopefully I'll still be going to France! (keep your fingers crossed)

#2. Where do you want to go?

French-speaking or state side. Or both. Technically my answer should be "wherever the Lord sends me" but who are we kidding...I'm Lesa and I tend to tell what I'm really thinking all the time. Don't worry, God knows it and that's why he's constantly chastising me.

#3. I was pretty sure you stopped going to church...

Alright, this one's kind of embarrassing for me because hardly anyone knew this about me, but it's true that I stopped attending church for a short period of time...about 8 months or so. But it doesn't really matter because I'm back, so mind your own business!

#4. Does this mean you're a republican again?

HECK no. I'm still pro-choice and I love gay people and I want them to get married if they want to. Don't worry, I checked with my bishop and he said I can't get in trouble for having my opinions :)

#5. Why are you giving up 18 months of your life?

Honestly, I don't really know. And I probably won't know until I'm out there. But I can tell you one thing - I honestly believe with all my heart that God asked me to do this, and so that means I'm going to do it. That's all it takes. I don't know all the answers, but I know enough.

Guys, this is really happening. I've got this weird mixture of excitement and nervousness that makes me feel like I'm going to barf every time I think about it. But don't worry, I'll get over it. Hopefully.

ps. I know I used a lot of Mormon lingo in this post, so if my lovely non-LDS friends need some clarification, let me know.

Lesson #56

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Anxiety.

I think I'm on a roll with talking about tv shows on my blog. You'll just have to get over it.

Lately I've been watching Prison Break on Netflix. Let me illustrate the various emotions I experience while watching an episode:

It took me a really long time to do that, so I hope you enjoyed it.

Basically, I have a panic attack at the end of each episode and I start screaming and throwing my head under the blanket. I've never experienced an emotional rollercoaster this giant in my ENTIRE life.

On top of that, I have the world's largest obsession with Wentworth Miller, the main character in the show.

Yes, he does make my heart melt.

And yes, I may or may not be experiencing really steamy dreams of which he is the star.

I'm never waking up ever again.

ps. This is a little off-topic, but I just wanted to give a big shout-out to NY for making good decisions. That is all.

Lesson #55

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Guilty pleasures.

We all have them. Something we secretly love more than life but would never admit to anyone, or at least not to people you don't know or you're trying to impress.

Well today I am going to reveal one of my favorites: I watch The Bachelorette.

YES, I understand it is completely against all feminist ideals. I really hate it and I'm constantly criticizing it all the time, but I CAN'T STOP WATCHING IT.

There are several reasons for this obsession, or at least for this season.

#1. Ames

He is soooo cute! You just want to pinch his cheeks. He studied at Harvard and Yale and he's the kindest most gentle guy on the planet. Life will lose meaning if he's kicked off.

#2. Drama

I don't consider myself a drama queen, but this show will make you giddy with all the ridiculous made-up tension the producers infuse into the story line. It almost wants to make you barf it's so unreal. Get this: Ashely (THE Bachelorette) totally fell for the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet named Bentley, who happens to be from Salt Lake. Anyway, this guy decides to leave because she's not pretty enough and her heart was broken. She tried to get over him, but a couple weeks later she decided she "needed closure" with Bentley and asked him to come back. So he's coming back next on next week's episode and all the other guys are PISSED. You have to watch it with me. We'll laugh and throw popcorn at the screen.

.......

I tried to think of other reasons but none were coming to mind. That's all I really needed to keep me coming back every week.

In case you were wondering, this is Ashley, the Bachelorette for this season.

She's from Maine and she just graduated from UPenn's Dental school. She also dances and competed nationally.

But what do the guys say every time they get a chance to talk to her?

"Uhh...you're gorgeous. I like you because you're pretty and so real and I feel so much chemistry."

You are dumb, boys. She has all this going for her and all you can tell her is that she's pretty?

Dumb.

Lesson #54

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Meeting my dad.

This is for all those awesome people in my life who have yet to meet my father, most especially the man I perhaps might marry someday.

There are some things you need to know about Daddy. First of all, his name is Timothy but you could probably call him Mr. Young or Brother Young (it's a mormon thing). I don't know of anyone my age or younger that calls him Tim, though I don't think he would get mad at you for it. He's been mistaken as my older brother before, so don't let his good looks and absent gray hairs fool you. He exercises like a madman and puts all of his children to shame on that front. Most of all, his family is the most important thing in the entire world to him - never forget that.

There are several rules you must understand and follow before meeting Daddy.

#1 - He looks scary, but he's harmless. And when I say he looks scary, I just mean that he's really really tall and very buff and he isn't quick to smile (guess where I got that special trait from...!). I promise he wouldn't hurt a fly, so don't act scared around him. You might frighten him away.

#2 - Daddy doesn't really like being around a lot of people, so don't take his shyness or tendency to leave the room a bad sign. He's really getting better at this, so he might surprise you!

#3 - My daddy is probably the funniest person I know, but his hilarious outbursts of humor are sporadic. Don't be completely shocked when you see him dancing to some 90's music or trying to rap. Sometimes during dinner he'll randomly put a napkin on his face and stick his tongue out (it's kind of terrifying) or start singing the "bean song" about tooting. Family dinners are the best, just saying.

#4 - If you don't really know what subject to bring up, stick to things like running, fishing, family, etc. Don't ask about work, he's not a huge fan of it. And NEVER ask him science-related or church questions unless you want him to talk for hours and never stop. That's why I always allowed myself plenty of time for my dad to explain math problems to me in high school - there was no such thing as a short cut or an easy answer.

#5 - I love my daddy more than anything on the planet, and if for some reason he doesn't like you (which has hardly ever happened, trust me) then I won't like you either. Got it? Good.

Happy Father's Day to the best daddy in the world! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you!

Lesson #53

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) New-age communication.

I am in a love/hate relationship with modern technology. It's awesome how I can skype with my family, email people important things across the globe in seconds for free, and be tracked down by my mother using my cell phone coordinates. Modern communication has revolutionized the world, as we've seen from the influences of social media on the revolutions in northern Africa and how youtube made Justin Bieber so famous. He is truly a gift to this world.

However, modern technology has just become another reason in my life to accomplish absolutely nothing at the same time. How does that even happen? Sure, my constant stalking of CNN.com keeps me up on the "haps," but Netflix has ruined my desire to do anything about that information I have (I love you Netflix, don't take that the wrong way).

By far the worst thing to come out of modern technology and communication is texting. Actually, just cell phones in general. It's certainly handy when I need to get a hold of someone right away, but it totally sucks when someone needs to get a hold of me. I hate talking to people on the phone, and I only answer half the texts I receive in a day. It's not that I don't like talking to you, but that I'm too lazy to talk to you at that moment. Or for the whole day. Trust me, if you actually came over I would talk for hours. Other than that, don't expect me to respond to your attempts to contact me.

I will admit that texting is better than talking to me on the phone. It's faster, easier, and we don't have to practice any of that crap phone etiquette. Quick and to the point.

ps. I have had this song stuck in my head all day. You're welcome.

Lesson #52

Today's Lesson Objective includes:

1.) Letters.

So. I was recently reading my most favorite feminist blog and I came across another blog that they referenced. The particular post I was reading was about a new book that's just been published to raise money for Elton John's AIDS Foundation called Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen -Year-Old Self. A ton of celebrities wrote letters to their teenaged selves and you can check some of them out here.

Anyway, I got a really brilliant idea to write my next blog post as a letter to myself. Hopefully the 1.5 teenagers that read this will seriously take my advice, since I am so old and wise.

Dear 16 year-old Lesa,

Hey bum. This is 21 year-old Lesa, and I'm happy to report that you'll at least live to this age. You will survive high school, and you'll be the hottest thing that ever graced an American college campus. Jokes. You're kind of a loser. But you pretty much have the greatest friends in the world so I reeeaaallly wouldn't worry too much about it.

Guess what. Your heart is going to get broken into pieces very soon. You'll also lose some very dear friends and it's going to hurt. But it's going to be ok. Don't become bitter, and please don't get angry. It was for the best. You're amazing and totally worth it, no matter what anyone tells you.

I guess this means you're a junior in high school, which means that you'll be a senior soon. DON'T SLACK OFF, even after you get accepted to college. Seriously. That "I don't care anymore" attitude has REALLY affected your college grades. You'll never shake off that senioritis. Work hard. Kick butt. And apply to an Ivy League school, even though the application fee is $100. You'll totally regret it if you don't.

High school is a butt, but enjoy the friends you have while you have them. They'll never go away necessarily (thanks to facebook), but it will never be the same. College is awesome, and I promise you will love it. It's totally worth getting through high school.

The last thing I really wanted to address was your attitude. You are one mouthy girl and you'll never lose that (trust me), but try to use it less on your parents. They're seriously so spankin' awesome, even though it doesn't always feel like it. And besides, now that I'm 5 years older and supposedly a better person, Mom ALWAYS brings up how horrible I was as a teenager. Can you cut them some slack? I'm trying to be the perfect daughter and my past is haunting me. Just go and give Mom and Dad a hug for me tonight. Then do the dishes. They'll love you forever.

Lies, I have another last thing. I know this is super cheesy and dumb but you gotta learn to love yourself. I wish I had done that sooner.

Love,

Lesa

ps. You look freaking amazing with red hair. Don't be afraid to try it!