Today's Lesson Objective includes:
1. Beauty.
I learned in my anthropology class a bajillion years ago that the idea of beauty is universal. Every culture has their own idea of what makes you beautiful and people take great care to adhere to these customs.
What I want to know is who the HECK made up the rules?
I'd like to hold someone responsible for making me wear makeup, dress in clothes that show off my curves, curl my hair, and shave my legs.
Now, I'm sure some of you are going to pull a "well you don't HAVE to." That is where you are wrong. No, no one is physically forcing me to curl my eyelashes. But I have this subconscious idea that is embedded into my DNA that I have to do what is expected of me to feel worth. If people don't find me attractive, then I'm not. I wish I was strong enough to not care, but I do realize that society is based on this idea. If I want a job, I have to look appropriate. If I want people to treat me with respect, I'm much more likely to receive it if I don't show up in a sweatshirt and unshaved legs.
As living proof of this, just look at my college dating experiences. Before wearing makeup = 2 dates over 2 years. After starting to wear makeup = ...more dates...maybe 10...over a 10 month period. I know, I'm a loser even with makeup. But come on! Don't guys appreciate girls that are comfortable with their natural selves?
I'm done. Watch this.
11.02.2010
10.09.2010
Lesson #23
Today's Lesson Objectives include:
1.) Group projects.
Let's just cut to the chase and admit that group projects are the worst thing ever invented. You would think that in college they would a little bit easier to coordinate, but it is a lie. I feel like it's worse in college.
In high school, the smart people to idiot ratio was ridiculous - it had to have been 3 idiots to every semi-intelligent person. It always seemed like I was doing a project all by myself and putting everyone's names on it. But in college we're all supposed to be smart. Now it's a ration of 3 lazy people to every person who actually cares.
I understand that group projects are supposed to help us prepare for the real world because that's what we'll mostly be doing in our future careers. Yet I think professors are forgetting something...IF I AM GETTING PAID TO DO SOMETHING, OF COURSE I'M GOING TO COOPERATE WITH A GROUP. In college, some people could care less about their grade, thus jeopardizing the group and their grades.
Please just let us pick our own group. Please.
2.) First dates.
Let's just say it.
First dates suck.
And first dates especially suck in the LDS culture.
Here's a breakdown of how it happens:
Step #1: He asks her out.
He notices her. He tries talking to her. He fails multiple times. He finally succeeds. He waits until the tenth time he's talked to her to finally ask her out. Or ask for her number. If the latter, he takes him much longer to finally work up the nerve to ask her out.
Step #2: Thinking of the activity.
This one is tricky. He doesn't want to pick something lame but he can't bring out the big guns yet. Oh no, that's for the second date. He contemplates a group date, but really he just wants to be with her. He finally settles on bowling and frozen yogurt - always a safe choice, he thinks.
Step #3: Picking her up.
This can be made awkward by several situations. He has a hard time figuring out where she lives. He walks in to only have to spend two minutes with her scary roommates who won't stop staring while his date finishes getting ready. This of course includes him practically hugging the door, half in and half out of the apartment. When his date comes out, he chooses not to comment on her dress but really to just start running away.
Step #4: Judging/activity.
The next 3 hours is spent asking questions, telling jokes, and starting to get to know the date. This is also what we call torture. Another term, more commonly used, is judging. 3 hours of judging. This is especially in evident in LDS culture. All that's going through his mind is, "Can I spend the rest of eternity with her?" With their potential marriage on the line, 95% of girls won't make it to the second date.
Step #5: The drop off.
This is the most crucial part of the whole experience. It is in this moment that he will find out if she wants some more. He walks her to the door, making weird small talk, and finally arrives at the destination. This is it. They both acknowledge that they had a great time. Hug. She leaves.
Step #6: Analyzing.
Now he will spend the next 2 days analyzing what had happened. "Did I have a good time? Should I ask her out again? She did say she wanted a big family... Was she interested?" And then, of course, he will probably chicken out. Thus the cycle starts again with the girl he sits next to in spanish class.
1.) Group projects.
Let's just cut to the chase and admit that group projects are the worst thing ever invented. You would think that in college they would a little bit easier to coordinate, but it is a lie. I feel like it's worse in college.
In high school, the smart people to idiot ratio was ridiculous - it had to have been 3 idiots to every semi-intelligent person. It always seemed like I was doing a project all by myself and putting everyone's names on it. But in college we're all supposed to be smart. Now it's a ration of 3 lazy people to every person who actually cares.
I understand that group projects are supposed to help us prepare for the real world because that's what we'll mostly be doing in our future careers. Yet I think professors are forgetting something...IF I AM GETTING PAID TO DO SOMETHING, OF COURSE I'M GOING TO COOPERATE WITH A GROUP. In college, some people could care less about their grade, thus jeopardizing the group and their grades.
Please just let us pick our own group. Please.
2.) First dates.
Let's just say it.
First dates suck.
And first dates especially suck in the LDS culture.
Here's a breakdown of how it happens:
Step #1: He asks her out.
He notices her. He tries talking to her. He fails multiple times. He finally succeeds. He waits until the tenth time he's talked to her to finally ask her out. Or ask for her number. If the latter, he takes him much longer to finally work up the nerve to ask her out.
Step #2: Thinking of the activity.
This one is tricky. He doesn't want to pick something lame but he can't bring out the big guns yet. Oh no, that's for the second date. He contemplates a group date, but really he just wants to be with her. He finally settles on bowling and frozen yogurt - always a safe choice, he thinks.
Step #3: Picking her up.
This can be made awkward by several situations. He has a hard time figuring out where she lives. He walks in to only have to spend two minutes with her scary roommates who won't stop staring while his date finishes getting ready. This of course includes him practically hugging the door, half in and half out of the apartment. When his date comes out, he chooses not to comment on her dress but really to just start running away.
Step #4: Judging/activity.
The next 3 hours is spent asking questions, telling jokes, and starting to get to know the date. This is also what we call torture. Another term, more commonly used, is judging. 3 hours of judging. This is especially in evident in LDS culture. All that's going through his mind is, "Can I spend the rest of eternity with her?" With their potential marriage on the line, 95% of girls won't make it to the second date.
Step #5: The drop off.
This is the most crucial part of the whole experience. It is in this moment that he will find out if she wants some more. He walks her to the door, making weird small talk, and finally arrives at the destination. This is it. They both acknowledge that they had a great time. Hug. She leaves.
Step #6: Analyzing.
Now he will spend the next 2 days analyzing what had happened. "Did I have a good time? Should I ask her out again? She did say she wanted a big family... Was she interested?" And then, of course, he will probably chicken out. Thus the cycle starts again with the girl he sits next to in spanish class.
9.15.2010
Lesson #22
Today's Lesson Objective includes:
1.) My [informal] complaint letter to the makers of Frosted Mini Spooners.
Dear creators of Frosted Mini Spooners,
I love your cereal. I really do. I actually prefer it to the name brand, so consider that a complement. BUTTTT....
I really feel that you should take better care to frost ALL of the mini spooners. And when I say frost I mean really frost it. Frost it like you frost your grandmother's Christmas cookies. Frost it like Frosty the Snowman frosts his tiny town. Ok, I'm sorry for setting the record on the number of times "frost" has been used in a letter and also for all the Christmas references, but I'm being serious.
I must tell you my utter dislike for mini spooners that aren't covered in sugar. It's basically a mouth full of wheat. In fact, it IS a mouth full of wheat. I don't know about you guys, but when I was young my mother, in order to punish us for saying bad words, used to shove handfuls of wheat in my mouth. No, not soap - that was too traditional. Wheat. So, while trying to enjoy your product, you are making me have terrible flashbacks to the times when I sinned, therefore undoing all of Jesus's work to help me get over it.
Yes, I'm comparing you guys to the devil. So please, frost those spooners.
Sincerely,
Lesa
ps. I'm lying about the wheat-in-the-mouth thing.
pss. I take back the apology about Christmas.
1.) My [informal] complaint letter to the makers of Frosted Mini Spooners.
Dear creators of Frosted Mini Spooners,
I love your cereal. I really do. I actually prefer it to the name brand, so consider that a complement. BUTTTT....
I really feel that you should take better care to frost ALL of the mini spooners. And when I say frost I mean really frost it. Frost it like you frost your grandmother's Christmas cookies. Frost it like Frosty the Snowman frosts his tiny town. Ok, I'm sorry for setting the record on the number of times "frost" has been used in a letter and also for all the Christmas references, but I'm being serious.
I must tell you my utter dislike for mini spooners that aren't covered in sugar. It's basically a mouth full of wheat. In fact, it IS a mouth full of wheat. I don't know about you guys, but when I was young my mother, in order to punish us for saying bad words, used to shove handfuls of wheat in my mouth. No, not soap - that was too traditional. Wheat. So, while trying to enjoy your product, you are making me have terrible flashbacks to the times when I sinned, therefore undoing all of Jesus's work to help me get over it.
Yes, I'm comparing you guys to the devil. So please, frost those spooners.
Sincerely,
Lesa
ps. I'm lying about the wheat-in-the-mouth thing.
pss. I take back the apology about Christmas.
9.06.2010
Lesson #21
Today's Lesson Objective includes:
1.) The 3rd wheel.
I think that's my official title. The 3rd wheel. The extra girl that never has a date but we'll bring her along because she amuses us.
What I really want to get at here is that there is nothing wrong with being the 3rd wheel as long as the couple is behaving themselves. So here are some ground rules I think these couples need to go over before inviting a friend to join them:
a. Don't be affectionate. I'm pretty sure there's nothing worse than sitting across the table from your friends watching them snuggle and kiss and hold hands. This will bring up one of two thoughts, namely "Wow, I am a loser. Why the heck am I incapable of securing a date for the evening?" or more common for me, "Do I look like that when I'm kissing? Sick." But usually it just turns into, "I'd rather be doing homework."
b. Be actively engaged in conversation WITH THE 3RD WHEEL. It's soooo annoying when the couple has their own side conversation, leaving the 3rd wheel to feel completely and hopelessly awkward.
c. If the 3rd wheel has volunteered to drive, don't you dare sit in the back with your lover. Doing so has subjected your friend to feel like the chauffeur, thus contributing to the dislike of being around you two.
I would say the most important rule would be...
d. Don't invite a third person.
The end.
1.) The 3rd wheel.
I think that's my official title. The 3rd wheel. The extra girl that never has a date but we'll bring her along because she amuses us.
What I really want to get at here is that there is nothing wrong with being the 3rd wheel as long as the couple is behaving themselves. So here are some ground rules I think these couples need to go over before inviting a friend to join them:
a. Don't be affectionate. I'm pretty sure there's nothing worse than sitting across the table from your friends watching them snuggle and kiss and hold hands. This will bring up one of two thoughts, namely "Wow, I am a loser. Why the heck am I incapable of securing a date for the evening?" or more common for me, "Do I look like that when I'm kissing? Sick." But usually it just turns into, "I'd rather be doing homework."
b. Be actively engaged in conversation WITH THE 3RD WHEEL. It's soooo annoying when the couple has their own side conversation, leaving the 3rd wheel to feel completely and hopelessly awkward.
c. If the 3rd wheel has volunteered to drive, don't you dare sit in the back with your lover. Doing so has subjected your friend to feel like the chauffeur, thus contributing to the dislike of being around you two.
I would say the most important rule would be...
d. Don't invite a third person.
The end.
8.21.2010
Paris!
Mistake #1: Going to the most romantic city in the world by yourself.
Paris is gorgeous. There's so much to do and so much more to eat. The Eiffel Tower is a lot bigger than I had previously thought, the Catacombes were really weird, and I saw some of Van Gogh's work with my very own eyeballs. While I'm trying to convince myself that I am so lucky to be in Paris and see things people only dream of, all I can think about is sharing it with someone special - a boy I like, my friends, my mom. I think it would have been so much better if I would have brought a friend or met my lover or made Caitlyn come with me despite her protests of being too poor.
Mistake #2: Not doing the 2 things I really cared about.
The first thing I wanted to do was buy a baguette or chocolate or a crepe and sit down by the Eiffel Tower while eating my delicious snack and staring at people. This is a modified goal from the previous one of wanting to get into a baguette fight with one of the Olsen twins while on a french boy's shoulders. Seeing as the latter is a tad bit impossible, I thought I'd change it. So simple, and I didn't even get a chance to do it!!!
My second goal was to buy a penis baguette from the gay bakery. Self-explanatory.
Best decision ever #1: Not entering the Louvre.
Maybe people will hate me for this, but I quite honestly don't care a tiny bit that I didn't actually go in. I was perfectly fine with taking my picture by the weird pyramids and moving on.
Best decision ever #2: Not swimming in the Seine.
Wasn't planning on it, but seeing the water confirmed my dislike for gross things.
...
SO. Paris was good. I did many things. I would like to go back with someone, preferably a lover. French bread is good. The end.
Paris is gorgeous. There's so much to do and so much more to eat. The Eiffel Tower is a lot bigger than I had previously thought, the Catacombes were really weird, and I saw some of Van Gogh's work with my very own eyeballs. While I'm trying to convince myself that I am so lucky to be in Paris and see things people only dream of, all I can think about is sharing it with someone special - a boy I like, my friends, my mom. I think it would have been so much better if I would have brought a friend or met my lover or made Caitlyn come with me despite her protests of being too poor.
Mistake #2: Not doing the 2 things I really cared about.
The first thing I wanted to do was buy a baguette or chocolate or a crepe and sit down by the Eiffel Tower while eating my delicious snack and staring at people. This is a modified goal from the previous one of wanting to get into a baguette fight with one of the Olsen twins while on a french boy's shoulders. Seeing as the latter is a tad bit impossible, I thought I'd change it. So simple, and I didn't even get a chance to do it!!!
My second goal was to buy a penis baguette from the gay bakery. Self-explanatory.
Best decision ever #1: Not entering the Louvre.
Maybe people will hate me for this, but I quite honestly don't care a tiny bit that I didn't actually go in. I was perfectly fine with taking my picture by the weird pyramids and moving on.
Best decision ever #2: Not swimming in the Seine.
Wasn't planning on it, but seeing the water confirmed my dislike for gross things.
...
SO. Paris was good. I did many things. I would like to go back with someone, preferably a lover. French bread is good. The end.
8.14.2010
Lyon
Lyon is one of the lesser-known places in France, yet it's the third largest city. I guess it makes sense since most people associate the country France with the city Paris, and when you ask them to name other cities the only ones they can think of are port cities like Marseille or Nice.
Yet somewhere in the middle of this beautiful country there is a fairly large city named Lyon, which I would say is the french equivalent of San Francisco - there are many large hills and hippies that dot the landscape.
In all of my french classes that discussed culture, they stressed two things you must do when visiting so as not to stand out - don't smile and dress nicely. When I arrived here, I was trying very hard not to smile despite my pure bliss. Yet almost every person I pass on the streets here will smile at you! I don't even look at them and I can hear a "bonjour!" and as I look over they are giving me the biggest smiles while holding their tiny dogs. Their choice of wardrobe is as surprising as their smiles. I saw a lady today wearing a flower pattern shirt and a plaid skirt. That is the biggest no no in the history of fashion, yet here is a seasoned french woman displaying her insane choice of patterns. I couldn't help but smile at how relaxed and nice everyone is here in Lyon. I feel a tad overdressed at times, which is huge for someone like me.
Everything here is ancient, which makes it so beautiful and romantic. I absolutely love visiting the old cathedrals and sitting in Vieux (Old) Lyon, just taking it all in. The parks here are spectacular, as you could imagine, and the food...where do I even start?! FOOOOOOD. Oh goodness, I could write a million blogs about the food. I promise I will gain 50lbs while I'm here. Oh! And I must mention the part I absolutely adore about this city because I'm a huge history buff - so Lyon was the center for the French Resistance during WWII. This was largely due to the secret passageways between buildings that the fighters used to escape the Nazis throughout the city. These passageways still exist and only a small percentage of them are marked, so it's kinda fun trying to find the other ones by opening random doors you'll see on the street. I don't know why, but I just love that.
I could go on forever about this city, but I'm sure you're already bored. I leave for Paris on Monday and I'm terrified that I won't like it because I'm pretty sure people don't smile there and they dress really nicely. But if you've been there, do you have any suggestions on what I should see?
8.11.2010
la France
I did it.
I finally made it to the country of my dreams.
The only problem...? I've built France up in my head so much that I made it this wonderful, classy place in my imagination. I made it here only to find that I love it so much and I've convinced myself that I need to live here. This is a problem since I'm supposed to live in Africa someday.
Now let me explain. I'm not in Paris, and I'm convinced that it's the reason I love it here. Granted, it is only my second day, but there are hardly any tourists (none of which are American that I've seen), everyone thinks I'm french, and I had chocolate for breakfast this morning.
Lyon is gorgeous. It really is France's best kept secret, and I hope it stays that way. Also I'm planning on dropping out of school and staying here so if you want to visit please let me know.
See ya never.
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