Lesson #1

Today's Lesson Objectives include:

1.) Never leave your apartment without your ID card if you plan on taking a test that day.

If a 20 minute walk to campus doesn't sound bad enough, try forgetting the most crucial item of your college life in your freaking apartment so you have to make 2 trips to campus. Oh, and it's to take an exam, which you never wanted to do in the first place. So at the end of the day you're grumpy from failing a test written in another language and walking till your legs fall off. Bad plan.

2.) Putting off homework is a bad idea but can greatly improve your social life.

Homework is lame sauce, and your freshman experiences only come once! Besides, you have 3 more years to bring your gpa back up. Even if you have absolutely nothing to do, avoid homework at all costs. Go listen to music, create inspirational messages to hang all over your apartment, stare at your roommate until they realize you're not talking anymore, or facebook it up. Chances are you're going to get married and drop out of college anyway, so go do something stupid.

3.) The roommates start to get a little crazy after 10pm, so watch yourself.

As we speak, my ridiculous "roomies" are taking insane pictures of themselves. They're not those cute funny pictures either. Pretty much I could print them off and send them to a mental institution as proof that those girls that live across the hallway need to be locked up. They are a danger to society at 10pm, and a danger to themselves after midnight. It's best to just let them do their own thing before they decide it would be better if you were doing it with them. Don't aggrivate the situation - they'll be normal by morning...hopefully.