7.16.2013

The "F" word.

Let me tell you a story.

On the last day of my mission, I traveled to Berlin to meet up with the other missionaries who were going to be flying home with me, all of which were Elders (missionaries of the male gender). Sitting in a room of the mission office surrounded by these Elders, I was more than a little uncomfortable, especially since I had been taught for 18 months to NEVER find myself in this situation. But alas, it could not be helped, and I sat there impatiently waiting my turn to have an interview with our mission president.

I'm not exactly sure how this next part came to pass, but I remember one Elder in particular, who must not be named and who I had not met previously, decided to brave the forbidden waters and engage me in seemingly light-hearted conversation. A little out of touch with talking to people of the opposite sex I suppose, he found it a perfect opportunity to tell me everything he had heard about me on the mission - every. single. rumor.

Not a minute had passed and several other Elders decided to pipe in similar feedback. Now, I'm not exactly surprised at what I heard. I knew I had a reputation for being outspoken, blunt, and lacking in basic social manners. Most Elders (and Sisters) had heard I was a "feminist," and subsequently, not fully understanding the meaning of this term, were terrified to meet me. But that never bothered me, mostly because people who had actually experienced a personal interaction with me tended to like me, or at least learned to not be offended by my presence.

But the way these Elders, people I had never met or spoken to, were talking to me about me made me feel so uneasy and, quite frankly, hurt. Every negative term that came out of their mouth was also associated with me being a "feminist," as if all feminists are terrifying, man-hating, rude liberal loud-mouths (the usual stereotypes that I apparently posses). And it hurt because I knew that this twisted image they had of me would forever have been ingrained into their souls as being associated with feminism, had they not had the opportunity to finally meet me and understand who I am and what I stand for. It hurt because they didn't understand this wonderful movement that had changed my life for the better, and they were mocking it in my presence.




Feminism has become a dirty word, my friends, and for this I am very sad.

I could go on and on about what the feminist movement really is and what's it's done for the world and blah blah blah. But you already know this. I talk about it everyday and I post about it everyday and whether you believe it or not, you are probably being exposed to feminist "propaganda" on a regular basis, even when you're not graced by my presence. And you know what? You probably agree with most of it. Let's be honest, who doesn't want a world where women are treated like human beings? The crazies, that's who. I don't need to defend the feminist movement as much as try to help you understand that if you have a brain that functions probably, you are probably a feminist too

The beauty of feminism is that it is really personal. Not every person who identifies with feminism agrees on every point! There's a place for everyone who desires gender equality.

I just want to tell you what feminism means to me.

Feminism has given me identity as a woman and has helped me to understand masculine identity. It has given me purpose and meaning in my life. It has given me the courage to stand up and say, "No, that is wrong." It has given me the courage to stand up and say, "Yes, this is me and yes, I believe this." My thoughts and feelings and opinions and hopes and dreams are all valid and real because I am a person and I deserve them. Feminism has taught me that I am equal to everyone, which has shaped the way I treat the people around me. It has helped me grow in my faith and helped me to understand how God sees me and who He wants me to become, and it has helped me to see what God sees in others.


I know I talk about this a lot, but I just wanted to put that out there. That is all.







7 comments:

  1. Mein Schatz ich hätte es nicht so gut rübergebracht! Bin stolz auf dich! Harriett :-)

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  2. I am sooooooo proud of you, Lesa. Well said, learn from this, man folk.

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  3. I am sooooooo proud of you, Lesa. Well said, learn from this, man folk.

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  4. my favorite professor ever (a sage of a woman) always taught that everyone is a feminist, whether they know it or not. We are all just different kinds of feminists--cultural feminists, progressive feminists, the man-hating kind, etc. It's a very individual matter, depending on how one understands the world around them. It's a shame that the "f-word" has so many harsh connotations. I admit that I even shy away from associating with the word because of this. But really, so much good has been done in the name of feminism!

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  5. Great article! It is a shame that feminism is so widely misunderstood and feared. Perhaps by men who subconsciously do not wish to give up patriarchy. Now, I am curious (and have always been curious), how does one reconcile feminism with the anti-feminism teachings of the LDS church? By this I mean the obvious lack of gender equality in many operation and ritual of the church. Women can't pass sacrament. Women can't be priests. Women can't hold church offices. Women can't baptize. Etc. How do you follow the church wholeheartedly while also being against gender equality? Or maybe you don't? I hope it does not seem that I have spoken harshly. I am merely curious! Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Patrick,

      I've actually written about this before if you're interested in reading more about my thoughts on the subject: http://lesayoung.blogspot.com/2013/04/listen-continued.html

      I guess for me it's recognizing a couple of things. Firstly, I don't believe the LDS church is necessarily anti-feminist, but I do believe many people within the church are. Obviously the church's organizational structure needs some modifications, but the early LDS church was actually extremely progressive for women and supported women's suffrage and women's right to own property, among other things. Somewhere along the course of time we lost that spirit of equality, which is a shame.

      Secondly, I separate the church from the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ is, to me at least, the epitome of equality. Church is merely a place where people gather together to help each other and learn more about Christ - but the gospel is the essence and purpose of everything. I follow the gospel wholeheartedly, not the church.

      Does that answer your question?

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