“The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing.”

Alright.

I'm very aware that my blog is getting more boring by the minute. I never have time to write and when I find time, I never have anything to say. Ok that's obviously not true, I always have something to say. But who wants to hear my feminist rants all the time? Oh yes, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.

I've been back from my mission for 3 months now. That's supposed to be a short amount of time but it feels like an eternity. I've been exerting every ounce of my strength trying to be "normal" again (whatever that means) and it's taking me FOREVER.

I'm going to share with you the life lessons I've learned since being home. And you are going to like it.

I know you all like lists:

1.) Catching up on the last year and a half is impossible. The second I got home I felt like everyone was saying, "Listen! These are all the things you missed! Hurry and catch up so we can be on the same page!" And then I was bombarded with information, music, images, and all the TV shows that ever existed.

I'm just going to be completely honest with you - I have no desire to see or hear or read about 90% of these things. If I happen upon them someday, sure. But I just don't have the time. Ok? Ok.

2.) I love Europe. I miss Europe. America just kind of grosses me out. It's probably just because I'm bias, but I just can't get over it. It's too hot and the bread is disgusting and everyone drives GINORMOUS cars everywhere and people are always smiling.

Good thing I'm fleeing to France.

3.) I'm terrified by how quickly I'm becoming desensitized to spiritual things. You'd think that after begging people for a year and a half to just read one tiny verse from the Book of Mormon or the Bible everyday that it would be easier for you to keep your own commitments. FALSE. When did real life start complicating lives? Why do I let real life interfere with things I understand to be of precedence? Something needs to change.

4.) You can never be too grateful for your awesome family and your amazing friends. I don't know what I'd do without them. I think the best part of coming home was realizing that nothing has really changed - sure, everyone is in different phases of their life now, but these people still know me and love me and we picked up right where we left off. I love that. You are all the best. The end.

5.) I don't know who I am anymore.

The mission really shook me. It took me a while to find my groove and even then I was always questioning myself and beating myself up over the smallest things. I came home to find that I can adapt those practices to everything in my new life. I have never felt so sure of my identity and at the same time never so lost. The only thing keeping me sane are the above-mentioned blessed people and prayer. It's ridiculous. I wish I could move on from this.




Enough with the cheese.


It's late = the only reason I'm barfing up my soul through my fingertips onto this keyboard.

I won't keep this blog up if nobody tells me what to write about. So tell me. Now.

Goodnight.