Lesson #7

Today's Lesson Objective is:

1.) Awkward people smiling awkwardly in awkward places.

It's just my luck that I happen to be one of the most unsmiley people in the world, especially in one of the most smiley places on earth. I just attract the strangest half-smiles all over the place! They are commonly the result of one of two situations.

First - I will catch someone staring at me, but it's not even in an appropriate people-watching place. They'll be sitting right across from me on the bus, and for some reason think they can get away with staring at me without being noticed. Then they finally realize I'm staring back at them, and they give that weird, half smile thing like we're best friends or something. My conclusion only comes to two options: they think I'm freaking hot or hideously ugly. In any case, why the freak are they smiling at me now? Is it supposed to make me feel better, especially since I just caught them judging me? Retards.

Second - The awkward bathroom smile. It's the WORST. It always happens in the same sequence; I come out of the stall, go to the sink to wash my hands, look up in the mirror and BAM! Some freaky chick next to me is smiling that sick half/awkward smile I despise. WHAT THE FREAK. I just can't tell if it means "I just heard you crap but it's ok because it's totally normal" or "I like your hair but I'm not going to say anything and the next best alternative is to smile creepily" or maybe even "I'm bathroom stalking you...if I kinda smile, maybe you'll finally notice". All of the above = nast.

Moral of the story: Just don't freaking smile unless you have a freaking good reason.


I'm moving to France.