To be discreet and chaste.

It's finally summer! Time to put away the heavy German winter garb, pull out my sunglasses, buy a bikini...what?

Now calm down people, I'm not buying a bikini. But the fact that you got a little worried about it is probably something we need to discuss.

Thanks to the sudden presence of the sun, it seems that everyone is getting themselves in a tizzy about one of my favorite words: modesty.

Actually I'm joking when I say that, in case you didn't pick that up. It's not one of my favorite words.

This is what the Church says about it:

"Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves.

If we are unsure about whether our dress or grooming is modest, we should ask ourselves, 'Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord's presence?'

Prophets have always counseled us to dress modestly. This counsel is founded on the truth that the human body is God's sacred creation. We must respect our bodies as a gift from God. Through our dress and appearance, we can show the Lord that we know how precious our bodies are." 

All of that seems somewhat reasonable to me. I like it because it centers everything around my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I personally dress the way I do because I personally believe that I am showing respect to the body that God gave me...and all that jazz.

The interesting thing is that the Church gives guidelines for how we should dress. For example, we have (as women) been asked not to wear, "Revealing and sexually suggestive clothing, which includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, and shirts that do not cover the stomach," among other things. That's fine. I don't have any problems with that for myself. This is what I ABHOR:

1. Viewing those who don't follow these guidelines as "immodest," "indecent," or worse, as "sluts".
2. Using the word "slut."
3. Something that we discuss often in the feminist world known as "slut shaming." Look it up.

Modesty is quite often, especially in the beloved Mormon culture, equated with words like "chaste" and "pure" and "virtue." To illustrate a point, and since I'd rather not phrase it in my own words, I've collected words from a source that you probably trust more than my brain. The following quote is from the same website:

"Our clothing expresses who we are. It sends messages about us, and it influences the way we and others act. When we are well groomed and modestly dressed, we can invite the companionship of the Spirit and exercise a good influence on those around us.

Central to the command to be modest is an understanding of the sacred power of procreation, the ability to bring children into the world. This power is to be used only between husband and wife. Revealing and sexually suggestive clothing, which includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, and shirts that do not cover the stomach, can stimulate desires and actions that violate the Lord's law of chastity."

Bah. If that doesn't directly influence rape culture, I don't know what does.

Let's get a couple things straight.

What I WEAR is dependent upon ME and MY PERSONAL PREFERENCES. I do NOT wear "modest" clothes in order to NOT BE RAPED or NOT INFLUENCE IMMORALITY. I hear too often that women need to dress "appropriately" in order to "help" dudes not have "immoral thoughts."  Or whatever.

Listen to me, men. 

YOUR IMMORAL and OBJECTIFYING THOUGHTS ARE YOUR OWN DAMN PROBLEM. Don't you EVER blame a woman and her "indecency" for your obvious problems with sexuality.  

And to the women.

Do not let other people define your worth. Don't let them tell you that if you wear a bikini or a short skirt that you are worth less or that you are dirty or cheap. Don't let people tell you that you are "welcoming" inappropriate behavior from men or that you have just "objectified" yourself. But I do hope that you dress the way you do as empowerment for yourself, because you're comfortable in your style and in your body. I hope you don't dress for the sole purpose to receive any negative attention - you are better than that.

To quote a blog that I once read, 

"Modesty is not about what you wear, but about how you wear it."    

For more thoughts visit here.

ps. The blog title came from one of my favorite scriptures. Not. --- Titus2:5

“The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing.”

Alright.

I'm very aware that my blog is getting more boring by the minute. I never have time to write and when I find time, I never have anything to say. Ok that's obviously not true, I always have something to say. But who wants to hear my feminist rants all the time? Oh yes, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.

I've been back from my mission for 3 months now. That's supposed to be a short amount of time but it feels like an eternity. I've been exerting every ounce of my strength trying to be "normal" again (whatever that means) and it's taking me FOREVER.

I'm going to share with you the life lessons I've learned since being home. And you are going to like it.

I know you all like lists:

1.) Catching up on the last year and a half is impossible. The second I got home I felt like everyone was saying, "Listen! These are all the things you missed! Hurry and catch up so we can be on the same page!" And then I was bombarded with information, music, images, and all the TV shows that ever existed.

I'm just going to be completely honest with you - I have no desire to see or hear or read about 90% of these things. If I happen upon them someday, sure. But I just don't have the time. Ok? Ok.

2.) I love Europe. I miss Europe. America just kind of grosses me out. It's probably just because I'm bias, but I just can't get over it. It's too hot and the bread is disgusting and everyone drives GINORMOUS cars everywhere and people are always smiling.

Good thing I'm fleeing to France.

3.) I'm terrified by how quickly I'm becoming desensitized to spiritual things. You'd think that after begging people for a year and a half to just read one tiny verse from the Book of Mormon or the Bible everyday that it would be easier for you to keep your own commitments. FALSE. When did real life start complicating lives? Why do I let real life interfere with things I understand to be of precedence? Something needs to change.

4.) You can never be too grateful for your awesome family and your amazing friends. I don't know what I'd do without them. I think the best part of coming home was realizing that nothing has really changed - sure, everyone is in different phases of their life now, but these people still know me and love me and we picked up right where we left off. I love that. You are all the best. The end.

5.) I don't know who I am anymore.

The mission really shook me. It took me a while to find my groove and even then I was always questioning myself and beating myself up over the smallest things. I came home to find that I can adapt those practices to everything in my new life. I have never felt so sure of my identity and at the same time never so lost. The only thing keeping me sane are the above-mentioned blessed people and prayer. It's ridiculous. I wish I could move on from this.




Enough with the cheese.


It's late = the only reason I'm barfing up my soul through my fingertips onto this keyboard.

I won't keep this blog up if nobody tells me what to write about. So tell me. Now.

Goodnight.