Today's Lesson Objective includes:
1.) My [informal] complaint letter to the makers of Frosted Mini Spooners.
Dear creators of Frosted Mini Spooners,
I love your cereal. I really do. I actually prefer it to the name brand, so consider that a complement. BUTTTT....
I really feel that you should take better care to frost ALL of the mini spooners. And when I say frost I mean really frost it. Frost it like you frost your grandmother's Christmas cookies. Frost it like Frosty the Snowman frosts his tiny town. Ok, I'm sorry for setting the record on the number of times "frost" has been used in a letter and also for all the Christmas references, but I'm being serious.
I must tell you my utter dislike for mini spooners that aren't covered in sugar. It's basically a mouth full of wheat. In fact, it IS a mouth full of wheat. I don't know about you guys, but when I was young my mother, in order to punish us for saying bad words, used to shove handfuls of wheat in my mouth. No, not soap - that was too traditional. Wheat. So, while trying to enjoy your product, you are making me have terrible flashbacks to the times when I sinned, therefore undoing all of Jesus's work to help me get over it.
Yes, I'm comparing you guys to the devil. So please, frost those spooners.
Sincerely,
Lesa
ps. I'm lying about the wheat-in-the-mouth thing.
pss. I take back the apology about Christmas.
9.15.2010
9.06.2010
Lesson #21
Today's Lesson Objective includes:
1.) The 3rd wheel.
I think that's my official title. The 3rd wheel. The extra girl that never has a date but we'll bring her along because she amuses us.
What I really want to get at here is that there is nothing wrong with being the 3rd wheel as long as the couple is behaving themselves. So here are some ground rules I think these couples need to go over before inviting a friend to join them:
a. Don't be affectionate. I'm pretty sure there's nothing worse than sitting across the table from your friends watching them snuggle and kiss and hold hands. This will bring up one of two thoughts, namely "Wow, I am a loser. Why the heck am I incapable of securing a date for the evening?" or more common for me, "Do I look like that when I'm kissing? Sick." But usually it just turns into, "I'd rather be doing homework."
b. Be actively engaged in conversation WITH THE 3RD WHEEL. It's soooo annoying when the couple has their own side conversation, leaving the 3rd wheel to feel completely and hopelessly awkward.
c. If the 3rd wheel has volunteered to drive, don't you dare sit in the back with your lover. Doing so has subjected your friend to feel like the chauffeur, thus contributing to the dislike of being around you two.
I would say the most important rule would be...
d. Don't invite a third person.
The end.
1.) The 3rd wheel.
I think that's my official title. The 3rd wheel. The extra girl that never has a date but we'll bring her along because she amuses us.
What I really want to get at here is that there is nothing wrong with being the 3rd wheel as long as the couple is behaving themselves. So here are some ground rules I think these couples need to go over before inviting a friend to join them:
a. Don't be affectionate. I'm pretty sure there's nothing worse than sitting across the table from your friends watching them snuggle and kiss and hold hands. This will bring up one of two thoughts, namely "Wow, I am a loser. Why the heck am I incapable of securing a date for the evening?" or more common for me, "Do I look like that when I'm kissing? Sick." But usually it just turns into, "I'd rather be doing homework."
b. Be actively engaged in conversation WITH THE 3RD WHEEL. It's soooo annoying when the couple has their own side conversation, leaving the 3rd wheel to feel completely and hopelessly awkward.
c. If the 3rd wheel has volunteered to drive, don't you dare sit in the back with your lover. Doing so has subjected your friend to feel like the chauffeur, thus contributing to the dislike of being around you two.
I would say the most important rule would be...
d. Don't invite a third person.
The end.
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